Eastern Progress - 31 Oct 1996 - Encompass

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Eastern Kentucky University Encompass Eastern Progress 1996-1997 Eastern Progress 10-31-1996 Eastern Progress - 31 Oct 1996 Eastern Kentucky University Follow this and additional works at: hp://encompass.eku.edu/progress_1996-97 is News Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Eastern Progress at Encompass. It has been accepted for inclusion in Eastern Progress 1996-1997 by an authorized administrator of Encompass. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Recommended Citation Eastern Kentucky University, "Eastern Progress - 31 Oct 1996" (1996). Eastern Progress 1996-1997. Paper 11. hp://encompass.eku.edu/progress_1996-97/11

Citation preview

Eastern Kentucky UniversityEncompass

Eastern Progress 1996-1997 Eastern Progress

10-31-1996

Eastern Progress - 31 Oct 1996Eastern Kentucky University

Follow this and additional works at: http://encompass.eku.edu/progress_1996-97

This News Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Eastern Progress at Encompass. It has been accepted for inclusion in EasternProgress 1996-1997 by an authorized administrator of Encompass. For more information, please contact [email protected].

Recommended CitationEastern Kentucky University, "Eastern Progress - 31 Oct 1996" (1996). Eastern Progress 1996-1997. Paper 11.http://encompass.eku.edu/progress_1996-97/11

™ -

■* Accent

Movie critics come out of woodwork to review Eastern's favorite Halloween horror fficks/«l ^| 1

On the Road

► Sports The Colonels hit the road for Halloween weekend to take on Tennessee State/08

► WEATHER ■ •

TODAY '

Hi: 50s Low: 40s Conditions: Sunny FRfc 45, Sunny •AT: 45, Parity cloudy

: 55. Party cloudy

EasternMVogress 16 pages ©The Eastern Progress Vol. 75/No. 9 October 31.1996

ABC investigates 3 downtown hot spots ■v MeweedWrdr

College students weren't the only ones making the weekly journey to downtown Richmond Thursday night Some members of the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) went undercover to inspect three of downtown's hottest night spots.

Seven individuals were cited on charges dealing mainly with underage

» Board of Begitta

Board decides to sell trailers BY JPfEH AUMEU) News editor

In an age of streamlining the higher education machine, the Board of Regents voted Saturday to simplify the problems of the physi- cal plant by declaring the universi- ty's trailers on John Hanlon Drive off Vanhoose Drive as surplus prop- erty.

According to a memo from Joseph Schwendeman. vice president for administra- tive affairs, the 72 trailers in the university's trailer court "will be offered for sale over an extended peri- od of time.

"I don't want to alarm anybody that lives in this part of campus," said President Hanly Funderburk. "We are only looking at getting rid of four or five trailers that are vacant now."

The rest of the trailers will be sold later as the university sees fit, as current residents move out or the trailers become unlivable.

"This does not mean we will automatically get rid of all the trail- ers, but it allows us the freedom to take action if it were to occur later that they were no longer being rent- ed," Schwendeman said.

He said die university will now have the freedom to replace trailers in the same manner they remove unusable ones.

They have served us very well, but it is not economically profitable to repair some of them at this point," Funderburk said.

The first 14 trailers were pur- chased in 1974, and the others fol- lowed between 1974 and 1981, according to the memo from Schwendeman. The vacancy rate for the units is 20 percent

Funderburk said he feels this lack of interest in renting me trail- ers is caused by more than just 20 years of deterioration.

See Board/Page A7

► Inside Accent.. AcUvMas Arts.....

B1 B5

Classifieds A4 Newt Briafs A4 Perapecttve A2. 3 Potto* Beat A4 PipfBaa B4 Spottt. Bfl, 7 What's On Tap B2

RoniliMtor Blue Grass Army Depot wMI test emergency sirens noon Saturday.

CLASS PATTERN

drinking. None of the bars have been targeted for action by the ABC pending investigation, said ABC assistant chief of enforcement James Covington.

Phone 3 Lounge, Tazwell's and Bottles were all subject to a surprise visit from members of the ABC.

There were three people cited in Phone 3, Covington said Two were for unlawful transaction with a minor in the third degree. Two females were observed

sitting at the bar and were served a 12 oz. Bud light each. They were later ID'd and found to be only 19 and 20." he said.

The two females were University of Kentucky students.

Chuck Knapp, owner of Phone 3, located at 125 N. First Street, said this is the first time his business has been linked to an ABC infraction.

There will probably be a hearing in front of the ABC board in a few weeks,"

Knapp said. 'According to Covington, the mem-

bers of the ABC department that visit the bars cannot dose down the opera- dan. They only draft a report and sub- mit it to the board.

Knapp said die location of his bar makes violations of ABC rules even harder to avoid than other bars.

"If s definitely harder in a college town," Knapp said. "We had somebody

at the door checking IDs, but she had to leave a couple of times for change, and I saw people trying to sneak in.

"We were being very careful," he said. "I'm not sure what happened. We only had about 25 people in the build- ing. Our doorman was not written up, so I don't know if people had fake IDs or what"

See Downtown/Peg* A7

Jeannie Howard, a freshman from Mt Vernon, spanks Jay Boster. a freshman history teaching major from Henderson. The spanking was to fulfill a social deviant assignment for SOC 131.

Tough Assignment Student demonstrates deviant act for sociology BY DAMETTA BARKER

Assistant news editor

You have been a bad, bad boy. What happens to bad boys? Bad boys get whipped

Over 20 bad boys stepped forward last week to receive whippings when Jeannie Howard and Cheri Manuel exhibited deviant behavior outside the Fountain Food Court

Howard, a student of Reid Luhman's Sociology 131 class, was merely doing her homework.

Luhman assigned his introductory sociology class to perform some kind of behavior mat was not normal.

"I give them an assignment with strict instructions; they are not to break any laws or hurt anyone," Luhman said. "Mostly. I want the students to learn what it feels Bke to stand out in a crowd."

Howard stood out last week, as 9he was led through the GriU to the fountain by friend Manuel, who coordi- nated the stunt

"I had a dog collar around her neck and was leading her around," Manuel said. "She was begging me to let her go. She didn't want to do mis."

Manuel said she was ready to let Howard go, because she didn't want to hurt her. "I thought maybe she wasn't ready for this," Manuel said.

Howard said she eventually calmed down and con- tinued with the act

"1 was real nervous when I got out there," Howard said. "I was only taking applications. I never intended to whip anyone."

The first person to come up was a girl," Howard said. Then when the guys saw a girl would do this, they all came forward The guys kept saying. Whip me.' over and over," Howard said. "So I did. We stopped counting at 20."

The stunt was originally designed to have people fiD out applications if they were interested in masochism. When people started coming up for a whipping just for ton, everyone wanted to participate.

Vivian Rogers was brought into the act for the pur- po^ofdosBigtheshow.

"Cheri asked if 1 would come over and give Jeannie a good hawing out" Rogers said

Rogers asked Howard if her mother knew what she was doing. Howard repled, "Yes ma'am, she does."

Howard said the experience gave her a better understanding of how people fed when commiriing deviant behavior.

"Actuaay, it ia a release," Howard said.

► Student Senate

Missed deadline kills voter drive Bv KMSTY GuEirr News writer

Those who registered to vote on campus with the Student Government Association may not be able to vote this election.

The SGA signed up about 100 new voters as part of die Rock the Vote campaign during Fall Fest held Sept 24, according to SGA President Melody Mason In a story that appeared in the Sept 26 issue.

The deadline to file the voter registration cards with the Madison County Court House was Oct. 7, and some of the SGA's cards did not make the cutoff.

According Mason, there was miscommunica- tion, and some voter registration cards were not turned in by the - eligibility dead- line.

There were only said Sarah White, a SGA.

«I want to apologize to the students who regis- tered to vote and will not be able to due to this mistake.

Melody Mason, SGA president ff

about 20," member of

"We have called all of die students and notified them of the mix-up."

According to the Madison County Voter Registration Office,

11 1

the number of cards not turned in was closer to 100.

Registration officials said the cards still at Eastern can not be turned in until Nov. 12. The stu- dents will then be eligible to vote in die following election.

"I want to apologize to the stu- dents who registered to vote add will not be able to due to this mis- take." Mason said.

Mason said she contacted the state board and gover- nor's office to see if there was any way the mishap could be fixed.

There was noth- ing that could be done but to contact each individual's county judge to overrule and say the individuals had hon- estly attempted to register to vote, she said.

"I tried every- thing in my power working with state and local officials, trying to remedy the

situation," Mason said. Another campus organization

was also signing up new voters at the Fall Fest

According to Angela King, vice president for Young Democrats, that organization turned in all their voter cards well before the Oct. 7 deadline.

No class, big choice

J years on the first aber, this coun-

>rrsid«:.it. ems the voter

disappointment. ISC

For an overview of candidates In national and local elections. seePage A5

ameodmer Kemu

people runit

ining for I ncumbent

When

will N show and sign in precinct roll.

i wu% thl •ed M

your vote I candidates i choice

)t*t

A2 Thursday, October 31.1996

18 The Eastern Progress >,«**

Perspective ► Campus Comments ►Editorials

Q. What's your best treat or worst trick for Halloween? Tuesday means more than day afi Name: Manon Beelen Major: Marketing Year: Sophomore Hometown: Rypwetering, Netherlands "M&Msara the beat treat, and the worst trick would have to Involve spi- ders."

Name: Amanda Powell Major: Criminal Psychology Year: Sophomore Hometown: Richmond "The candy ban00 Grand Is the best thing. Ones I moved somsonss car and

they thought It was towed and looked for It for two hours."

Name: Cory Stevens Major: Police Admin. Year: Sophomore Hometown: LaGrange "When the trick or treaters come around, answer the door naked; It could be a trick or a treat, depends how a

;person takes It."

t90MN!8ttM68ttS9ttjMttJMtt8886tt8BiWa

; Name: Jeff Driessen j Major: Forensic ■ Science ! Year: Junior Hometown:

' Menomonee Fan, Wis.

; "Best treat I've received Is a care package full of candy from my

-mom. BtSSMBSBMSi

The Eastern Progress 117 Donovan Annex

Eastern Kentucky University Richmond. Ky. 40475

Mary Ann Lawrence EdHor

Tun MoOette Marianne editor

Sophy Mod, Beth Whisman Copy edit on

Vtctor Cuellar staff artist

TIN Eastern Prscrssa (ISSN 10814324) is a member of the Associated Collegiate

- Press. Kentucky Intercollegiate Preas . Association and College Newspaper Business ; A Advertising Managers, inc. The Progress is

published every Thursday during the school ■ year, with the exception of vacation and ! examination periods. Any false or misleading

advertising should be reported to Adviser/General Manager, Dr. Elizabeth Fraas.

Opinions expressed herein are those of stu- dent editors or other signed writers and do not necessarily represent the views of the untver-

; sity. Student editors also decide the news ; land Informational content.

► Say It Again

u I was real nervous : when I got there. I was only taking applica-

! tions. I never intended ; to whip anyone. *•

Jeannie Howard, i student in Raid Luhman's SOC

131 class, on her social deviant display in We fountain

I

The right of the citizens of the United States, who are 18 years of age, or older, to vote

shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age. — The Constitution of the United States of America

Congratulations — this means you. With few exceptions, everyone in a

campus community—students, fac- ulty and staff—are all 18 or older, and thereby deemed intelligent enough, courageous enough and wor- thy to participate in democracy.

In ancient Rome, and even in the eaity 1800s, the thought of a young adult voting was unheard of.

Now, despite the 26th Amendment, tile idea of a young American voting is still nearly unheard of.

Out of 252,69118- to 24-yearolds registered to vote in May's primary, only 86 percent spent the approxi- mately 4.2 seconds it takes to vote.

It appears the voice of a generation is barely speaking above a whisper.

It's time for us to realize that the generation that inspired pop icons like Forrest Gump and the Grateful Dead is not our own—in fact, it was our parents'.

Latching on to the coattails of a memorable generation is demeaning to those who came before us and to

ourselves, as Generation Xers. Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote,

"Now first we stand and understand, and suner false from true, and handle boldly with the hand, and see and shape and do."

It is not too late for the 18- to 24- yearolds of the world to rise above their Swatch-wearing, television-lit- tered pasts and make the statement that we care where our world is head- ed.

A definite beginning toward shap- ing the future happens Tuesday.

Voting is our voice, our only way to exercise a personal set of checks and balances on our governments offi-

Woods shouldn't be mined Eastern Kentucky woodsman

Lilley Cornett purchased the first five tracts of what is now

Lilley Cornett Woods in 1915. He bought the last piece of the

property in 1933. He never allowed anyone to mine or cut timber on his land.

He protected the land, even dur- ing World War H, when raw materials were scarce and many of Kentucky's forests were harvested. He protected h from fire, poachers and miners until his death in 1958.

After that, the land passed from his sons to the state, and then to Eastern, who continues Cornetf s fight today.

In the latest effort to rid the ever- present threat of deep mining to the virgin forest, the university paired with Enterprise Coal, a Dorton-based subsidiary of A&R Coal out of Roanoke,Va

Eastern is waiting for The Heritage Land Conservation Fund Board's decision on whether it will fund the $1 million proposal.

If the board decides it doesnt have the money, or the coal under the woods isn't worth the sum, or ifs not their place to fund such a proposal, Eastern will be "right back where we started from," according to Joseph Schwend*eman, vice rjresklent for administrative affairs.

Smce 1977, when the university took over the care of the woods, it has continually fought mining per- mits and law suits.

This fight can be viewed many ways. For example, it could be seen as educated individuals realizing the importance of nature for study as well as for enjoyment, or it could be seen as an institution protecting its interests for political and financial gain.

Either way, Eastern isnt going to let Lilley Cornett Woods be mined unless it creates a positive situation for the university.

That day may never come; so, unless the money is granted, Eastern wifi continue to spend money to fight mining in the woods It makes the

university look like a champion of the •nvironment, when really, the institu- tion is just protecting its interests.

The point in the end is to preserve. the woods—a living history of Eastern Kentucky.

Making a cooperative effort with a board that encourages cooperation and whose job it is to fund such pro- jects was smart—for both parties.

If the money is granted, Eastern gets peace of mind and has to spend fewer dollars each year fighting min- ing permits in Letcher County; Enterprise gets compensated for mineral rights theyVe owned since 1908—before Cornett even pur- chased his land.

If this effort fails, the university should pursue other conservation and preservation boards and grants. It seems that there is a never-ending assortment of books about grants for everything under the sun. Surely there is one that can grant the money to keep one of the largest tracts of vir- gin forest from being deflowered.

Where to find us ►Tho Eastern Progress Is located o« Lancaster Avsnus In ths Donovan Annex on the wast aide of Alumni Coliseum.

EKU 1* hie

tern ogress

(118 Donovan Annex) H __ downtown Richmond

| | Powell £——'Building

<@>

to I-75 EXITB7

P"*Or.

S3 Alumn lumnl

Coliseum

Eastern Bypass Oq. □ Roy Kldd

Stadium

© Kentucky state

Police Poet

See story, Page A1

I

Corrections Policy ■ To clarify a story about LMey Cornett

Woods that appeared in last week's Progress, the land was sold to the state by LiRey Cornett's sons.

■ The Eastern Progress will publish , clarifications and corrections when

needed on the Perspective pages. If you have a correction, please send it to the editor in writing by noon Monday before publication on Thursday. The editor will decide if the correction deserves special treat- ment, or needs to be in the section in which the error occurred.

ALYSSABRAMLAGE My Turn

rials. On paper, it looks like the 26th

Amendment should have opened a whole new block of voters. However, in the next election after the amend- ment passed, voter turnout declined by 7 percent

If individuals do not feel it incum- bent upon themselves to vote, they have cheated themselves and democ- racy.

For the sake of the future, treat Tuesday as more than a day off from class

Treat it as the first day of a genera- tion's future.

Halloween offers great creative opportunity Every Halloween from my front

porch, I notice through the black plastic, fog and fake spider webs

the different little (and not-so-little) tykes who have rummaged through tile attic for their plastic pumpkins, anticipating anoth- er fun-filled night of trick-or-treating.

Every year, an endless stream of children parades up the hill. Some have spent weeks prepar- ing for the big night, while others ran wild- ly around their house last night looking for an appropriate cos- tume.

Parents accompa- ny the smaller kids in their quest to have the fullest pumpkin. Some parents wait patiently, encouraging the skittish to approach the Bramlage house.

They won't hurt you! It only looks scary — it only looks 8007!"

Parents of the cruder variety simply chuckle as their child clings to their legs with a death grip.

My little brother lives for this night For the two weeks prior to Oct 31, Greg is out on our porch hanging black plastic, constructing coffinsand building graves. (Dad doesn't let him dig any in the yard, much to Greg's dismay.) He finally changes the light bulb to a black light, turns on the eerie Halloween-noises tape and dresses in his traditional costume, the living skeleton-man.

With a cauldron of candy placed on his lap, trick-or-treaters are encouraged to approach him for a piece. If they show a bit too much confidence, he lets them know it is ill-founded. He jumps up or simply says "boo," and they scamper away looking for a clean pair of shorts. To those who needed to be coaxed and cajoled up the steps, he remains still and allows them to reach for their reward unscathed and unsoiled.

He is always disappointed when the night ends, and his river of victims becomes a trickle of teenagers looking for leftover candy. The teenagers are always a disappointment, because their costumes lack the creative spark of inno- cent children.

Even if his parent has helped him become the perfect Ross Perot, little Jimmy pulls off the costume with grace. And even if she bought her Barbie cos- tume, little Patty's belief that she really is Barbie pulls her through with style.

The classic ghost or witch always scores points, but the top award winner is the child for whom imagination is para- mount

This child has come up with a costume that consists of his pajamas and a towel to become Superman or her sweatpants, slippers and her mom's scarf to be Princess Jasmine. #

To them, it doesn't matter that their costume is not the most sophisticated; it only matters that they believe they truly are Superman or Jasmine.

The teenagers, on the other hand, aim- pry dress in ripped clothes and claim they are a zombie.

Please! This is not a treat, and you're not tricking anybody, either. I'd much rather see a towel wrapped around your neck for your Batman cape.

A little creativity never hurt anybody, and it certainly wouldn't kill you.

So dress up this Halloween, and make ad of Greg's hard work seem worthwhile. Show him (and every other person who's just a little loopy) that you appreciate what he's done by putting a little thought • into your costume.

Bramlage is a sophomore journalism major from Fort Wright and is arts and entertainment editor for the Progress.

i

H Thundey. October 31.1996 PerSpeCtjVC i\c

Groomsman gives advice for perfect wedding Attending the back-to-back wed-

dings of two friends I never thought I'd see married has given

me some background to use in judging the quality of a wedding.

I'm not trying to be one of those French wedding planners, but I have put together a little list of things to consider if you are planning to be hitched soon.

,-. At a time as nerve-racking as * joining another human being for

life, you don't have time to worry about whether or not the church has been sprayed for bugs.

So, to guide you through such problems, refer to the fol- lowing: "A Poor Man's Guide to Making Sure Your Wedding Doesn't Go from a Sacrament to Excrement

TIMMOUETTC SWM Turna

heart set on it, avoid a train that is longer than a major river, especially if you have a clumsy groom. Not only does it present the danger of falling, but the weird "sshhh-sshhh" sound it makes coming

down the aisle can be distracting and could cause your husband-to- be to forget his only line (I do). ■ Pictures are a necessity. An

occasion as glorious as wedlock should be captured on film. It's the person who is taking the pho- tographs you need to worry about.

Lefs say, for example, the ' stage in the church is decorated with candles or plants; the pho- tographer will need to maneuver around them, and this will take some flexibility and coordination.

The poor man's guide sug- gests you give your photographer

I Brides: unless you just nave your flexibility, coordination and sobriety tests

► On the Page: By Burt Bucher

prior to allowing him to run through die church with a camera. ■ Tuxedos for the groomsmen are a

must, but it should be the responsibility of one of the mothers to inspect each man involved in the wedding to make sure his tuxedo fits properly. Otherwise, you have a roomful of men pretending their tuxes fit, because they don't want to admit they lied about their waist size, trying to con- vince themselves they still wore a 32.

Men. ■ Another danger of men trying to

help each other fit into tuxes is the noise that is produced.

If at all possible, a soundproof waiting room should be used as a holding area for the groom and his groomsmen prior to their entrance.

Otherwise, it will sound like the bache- lor party didn't end until the ceremony began. ■ Last but not least, be sure the

Give your

flexibility,

church has been sprayed recently for bugs.

Sure, it doesn't seem important now, but I found out firsthand if s an absolute necessity.

Two weeks ago, I stood above a church altar, watch- ing a friend of five years say his vows; a fellow grooms- man turned around to face me, fear in his eyes.

Then, he began talking to me. At first, I tried to block him out I didn't want to ruin the moment for our long-time friend.

After a sharp gesture with his head, he pointed out the largest spider I had ever seen.

It wasn't just large; it was yellow and, at the time, looked like it had fangs and about 100 eyes on its back.

Thinking back, I could have sworn I

teals prior to the wedding.

heard it hissing. Couldn't we have just overlooked it? Yeah, probably, but unfortunately, it

was crawling up the back of a third groomsman.

Panic struck. The ceremony was almost to its third song, and what I had determined was aj :- deadly tarantula, from Africa or Persia or some other exotic k>cale was about to turn the groomsman into a Saturday buffet ". ,

Thinking fast, the observant groomsman pecked the sooifto- be victim on the shoulder to * inform him of his pending doom, before flicking a finger at

the spider. «;-~ The beast then leapt from his shoulder

never to be seen again. t. So, if you value the lives of the wed-

ding party, check the church's extermina- tion records.

Dole should throw up white flag Even though hell lose, he won't quit politics Finally, the debates are over and cam-

paigning is coming to an end. It is once again time for us citizens to

have our shabby remaining say in American government

Now that all the name-calling, finger-pointing, lying and promis- ing have been done, it is time to ■ vote.

Although both candidates may appear to be shameless politi- cians who thrive to muster more votes any way humanly possible, we have to choose one as our president for the next four years.

I believe Bob Dole already deserves a lot of credit He has endured this election year quite well. I expected the frail, retired senator to fold under pressure, buckle and break weeks ago.

Even though the election has not yet been held, I believe it is safe for Dole to start planning his retirement from Washington, D.C. However, don't expect him to fade away quietly.

Old political junkies like him never retire completely from the political scene. Take Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter for examples; both were compelled to return to the political arena to get their fix.

MATT WEBER Your Turn

They say once you are an alcoholic, you are always an alcoholic. Well, the same goes for politics. Once you get it in your system, it is a difficult habit to kick.

At least Bob Dole has a sense of humor compared to the president Hopefully, he will be able to take a landslide defeat in stride and shrug it off. If you catch Dole

laughing as he boards his plane after losing the election, it might be for one of two reasons.

One, he's laughing at the fact that he tried to carry the state of Kentucky by suggesting that nico- tine was not addictive. That"s a good one! And Nixon was not a crook! And John F. Kennedy was not a sex fiend! Right?

Or two, he's laughing at the bil- lions of people whose lives will be affected by decisions made by a goofy-acting, pork rind-eating country boy from the hills of Arkansas.

Let me go back to the tobacco This single issue may very well

cause Kentucky to swing toward support- ing Dole in this election. The fact is, a lot of Kentuckians would not be caught within a stone's throw of President Clinton. If they were, they would probably be propelling heavy stones at the poor man's head.

The truth is, tobacco farmers should have seen these changes in laws coming. When lung cancer patients begin to over- flow hospitals and put the country's health

issue.

► Letters to the Editor

Browne best choice "Saturday Night Live" had a

great opening sketch last weekend about Ross Perot's dictatorial nature and his refusal to ever debate or dialog with Libertarian Harry Browne or any other alterna- tive candidates, this election or last The scene was Cable News' "Larry King Live," presumably following one of the closed debates in which the bipartisans shut out both Browne and Perot 111 bet that one exaggerated presentation of Harry Browne and Libertarian ideas got more exposure than all the previ- ous attempts by the national print and television media to include Harry Browne in their campaign reporting this year.

That's why Harry Browne has gone to radio talk format — to make an "end run" around the other media. David Broder, Hugh Downs and 180 talk show hosts wanted Harry Browne in the debates.

So let me set the facts straight Not all libertarians- believe in "no government" The party believes in only the government functions authorized specifically in the Constitution. We must stop think- ing of government as a pie to divvy up or a jackpot for special selected winners. But is a third party vote a waste? Not if it's the only way to vote for what you believe. Not if if s the only way to get what you want. Don't vote for what you have always gotten. Vote for what you have always wanted!

Gallup polling has indicated that there are over 50 million philosoph- ical libertarians in our country. Figures indicate that if everyone who is voting for Harry Browne was a dues-paying member, the Libertarian Party could easily com- pete with the Damnukins and the Repugnacrats and would have the resources to find and run many more candidates than the 800-plus already running this year.

Dole teases us with a paltry 15 percent tax break. He says it's our money. Well, whose money is the other 85 percent?

There is a much better alterna- tive. Harry Browne will end the income tax and abolish the IRS, if the public is willing to sacrifice their entitlements and get behind him.

Harry Browne has a non-profit campaign book titled, "Why Government Doesn't Work" (245 pages, St.Martin's, $19.95), avail-

► How to reach ue

idH-rr- able in any bookstore. His plan is for huge tax cuts now! Huge spend- ing cuts now! And a balanced bud- get now! His website can be tra- versed at hUp://www.HarryBrowne 96.org/ or write to: 2600 Virginia Ave, NW, Suite 100, Washington DC 20037 or call (202) 333O008 or 1 (800) 682-1776 for membership information.

Stop The Browne Out!

MarkGailey Eastern employee

Berea

Hot buildings need to be fixed

As I sit here at my desk, I watch what was once a candy bar turn into a puddle of chocolate. This morning, as I entered my office, the thermometer that sits on my desk read 95 degrees Fahrenheit After almost three hours and two fans blowing full blast the temperature still registers at 91 degrees.

My office is in the Memorial Science Building, and the phenom- enon I described above is a daily event I have been recording these types of temperatures for over a week now. This, happens every fall and lasts throughout the winter. I have often sat at my desk during the winter when it was 15 degrees with snow outside, and had the win- dow open because of the stifling heat inside the office.

I (and others) who have their offices in this building have com- plained ad nauseam to no avail. What we always get are bad jokes about heated offices, but no one seems concerned about actually fix- ing the problem. The stock answer is always open the window, and buy a fan. Well, the jokes have worn thin, and as I sit in my puddle of sweat I find nothing funny to laugh about

I would like to directly ask Drs. Funderburk and Sen wendeman to see if something can be done about this problem. It concerns me because this affects not only my comfort and the com- fort of my colleagues and students who work in this building, but it also has to do with saving money. It is incredible to me that I am in a department and college that could use an infusion of hundreds of thousands of dollars of funds to modernize the equipment in our labs, and provide enough supplies

to teach the courses the way they need to be taught and yet we are literally burning money to heat the outdoors.

I would like to recommend that a campus-wide study be done on heating and cooling to look into actually fixing this problem. Surely there are ways that these problems can be rectified. How do they man- age to provide a comfortable envi- ronment in high-rise buildings all over the world, yet Eastern cannot figure it out for two and three story buildings?

I would also like to suggest that the people who actually work in the building be given back control of their thermostats. The centralized computer control is obviously not working, and to have thermostats in our offices and labs in wire cages that we cannot get to is unbeliev- able torture.

The time has come for some- thing tangible to be done about the waste of thousands of dollars each year on energy costs. It is uncon- scionable that people have windows open in the summer to make them- selves warm, and have them open in the winter to cool themselves. If there is an easy way to save money for the university, surely this is it

Guenter Schuster, professor Biological Sciences

SGA should try for more money

I have just recently learned, from someone close to the student senate, where the revenue raised from parking tickets goes to. The money from these tickets, which is under the care of judicial affairs, directed by Harry Moberly Jr., goes to Frankfort

When the money reaches Frankfort it falls under the control of the House Appropriations Committee in Frankfort, headed by Harry Moberly Jr.

I was wondering if the student senate could talk to Harry Moberly Jr. and try to obtain some of this revenue to bring more quality acts to Alumni Coliseum, or to create some scholarships for the many student organizations here on cam- pus.

Sincerely, MarkGooslin

Palmer Hall

care system into a downward spiral, you had better expect some changes to be made.

With so many new tobacco restrictions coming into law, it appears that playing a friend of the devil won't be so profitable fqr farmers anymore.

So who should Bob Dole blame for t*t» upcoming defeat? Himself.

Dole did not make his move when M*« needed to. When he was hanging by a ;-; thread, he accepted early defeat by notj^ making some head-turning, hair-raisin**I• move. He just played the same old god-' fearing, gay-hating, conservative military ! hero he's always been.

It looks pretty clear that Bill Clinton-is-' the man that will lead this doomed, videor, game-playing, slacking generation into the next century. I wish him much luck. "J-

Weber is a sophomore political science major from Louisville.

Wh«n's It Your Turn? jieM

The Progress gh/& its readers an: „ opportunity to voice more detailed opirf-' tons in a columncatod "YourTurn.* ':M

Those interested in writing for this• . J column should contact the edttor by \v" phone at (606) 622-1572 or by e-maH,«t,f

progressOac8.elai.edu. jo.s

vb >-i4-

THE HEXT BEST THING TO R KRYSTHL?

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Phone: (606) 622-1881

To report O newe etory or Me* Jennifer Almjeld, 622-1872.

E-Mail: progressOacs.eku.edu

To place an ed Monica Keeton, 622-1489

Fax: (606) 622-2354

Sonja Knight, 622-1881

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*A4 NeWS The Eastern Progress, Thursday. Octobw 31,1996

► Blue Grass Army Depot

Drill offers chance to practice BY ALAN KINCEH Graphics editor

Officials at the Bluegrass Army Depot just southeast of Eastern say the chances of an accidental explosion involving the thousands of nerve gas weapons there is nearly impossible.

Still, they contend, they do not want to take chances. Last week, base personnel and Madison County officials participated in a mock chem- ical disaster to test their ability to respond to such an accident Just as importantly, the drill tests communi- cations alerting outlying Madison County residents, according to Cathy Coleman of the Army's Anniston Chemical Activity in Alabama

The drill is part of the Army's Chemical Stockpile Emergency Preparedness Program and is con- ducted annually with the Madison County Emergency Management Agency.

"What we want to ensure is that we have total communication between everyone who needs to be in touch," said Mary Hudak of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). "If we can deal with

a "worse-case' scenario, then every- thing routine falls into place."

The drill scenario occurred early Oct 23. The evening before, workers conducted routine inspections, where they were confronted by a frozen sampling plug of a rocket con- taining the nerve agent "GB." The workers decide to remove the rocket the next day because of extensive handling procedures.

The workers return the next day, and drop a pallet of rockets while fork-lifting them out of a containment "igloo." An explosion kills the forklift operator. Four others are hying on the loading entrance, contaminated with the deadly nerve agent which causes paralysis and death. Hudak says the agent is a "very strong ver- sion of bug spray," formulated to have a similar effect on humans. The injured workers are taken to a decon- tamination station outside the 250- acre compound where the rockets are kept in 49 igloos made of earth- covered concrete.

Coleman says the drill tests Army personnel's responsiveness to sever- al parts of a chemical emergency, including medical and communica-

Six hopefuls vie for city commission There are four Richmond City Commission seats up for re-election this November. The following is a brief summation of each candidate.

Name: Joe Hacker Occupation: Retired Address: 108 E. Walnut Street Family: Four children Experience: Nine years on the City Commission Quotation: "This race is so important to the people of the city, different things going on, Linden Street project and things."

Name: Kay Cosby Jones Occupation: Pharmacist Address: 338 Lancaster Ave. Family: Married, one child Experience: Ten years on City Commission Quotation: "I feel like the City Commission has and will address the problems of parking and traffic along the bypass. When the extension is com- plete, the traffic problem will have corrected itsett"

Name: Tom Tobler Occupation: Business Owner Address: 210 Pembroke Drive

*► Police Briefs

Family: Married, two children, one grandchild Experience: Seven years on City Commission Quotation: The more you expand, the more problems you have with traffic and parking. People that have been here 25 or 30 years know the progress we've made."

Name: George W. Robbins Address: 112 Southland Drive Family: Married, three sons Experience: Two years on City Commission

Challengers Name: Bailey Dickerson Occupation: Retired Firefighter Address: 317 Douglas Court Family: Married, Four children Quotation: "I will work with the mayor and the city manager on any problems that come up."

Name: William A. Jacksoa Occupation: Retired Address: 409 Elm Street Family: Seven children Experience: "I feel I'm qualified because I can do about anything."

tions systems, as well as containing the exposed agent Members from the Anniston base graded tile depot exercises while FEMA observed the civil response.

"They try to strike a balance between something believable and something that lets the community know they can respond to this sort of thing," Coleman said.

The drill also tests an emergency communications system the Army is putting millions of dollars into. A net- work of 23 chemical warning sirens throughout the county, along with household Tone-Alert radios in homes near the depot, are tested dur- ing the event. Coleman said Madison County is the only area she knows of using the radios.

The Army is giving radios to about 10.000 households located in the outlying "Immediate Response Zone (IRZ). The IRZ covers an area within 6.2 miles of the chemical weapons storage site. Despite the system's $3.4 million price, Coleman said the tone-alert system is a low- cost way of notifying the community in the event of a chemical emer- gency.

► News Briefs Compiled by Danetta Barker

Last day for grad applications

Graduation applications are due today for anyone planning to gradu- ate in May. Applications are due in the office of the dean of your college to be eligible for May graduation.

Conference explores the future

Paul Blanchard, a university pro- fessor in the political science department, is one of four panel members for "Quality of Life in the Community of Tomorrow," a ses- sion in the third annual conference of the Kentucky Long-term Policy Research Center.

The conference will explore trends and issues influencing the future of Kentucky. Featured speak- ers are Gov. Paul Patton, state histo- rian James Klotter and former gov- ernors.

Other sessions include "Demographic Trends, Implications for the Future," "Trends in State Finances" and "The Future of Kentucky's Education System"

The conference is 8:30 am. to 5 p.m. Nov. 12 at the Hyatt Regency in Louisville. For registration infor- mation, call the Richmond Chamber of Commerce at 623-1720.

The following reports have been filed with the university's divi- sion of public safety.

Oct 25 Marvin O. Rydberg, 20,

Richmond, was arrested and charged with alcohol intoxication and disorderly conduct

Douglas A. Burkhead, 19, Richmond, was arrested and charged with alcohol intoxication.

Oct 24 K Trace W. Gilbert, 20, Versailles, was arrested and charged with speeding and driving while under the influence of alcohol.

Tracy Mclntyre, Combs Hall, reported that an item was stolen from the rear window of her vehicle while parked in the gravel lot of Lancaster Lot

Phil Hedges, Brewer Building, reported that a vehicle's windshield had been damaged by an object while it was parked in the Daniel Boone Lot.

Oct 23 Randy K. Osborne, 18,

Booneville, was arrested and charged with alcohol intoxication.

James P. Gibson, 19, Versailles, was arrested and charged with possession of marijua- na and possession of drug para- phernalia

Oct 22 Orlando Madriz, Brockton,

reported that his vehicle had been vandalized while parked in the Brockton Lot

Mark L. Weiglel, 40, Berea, was arrested and charged with dri- ving on a suspended license.

Shirley Long, Keith Building, reported that her computer had been stolen from her desk

Oct 20 Stanley Brown, 35, Lancaster,

was arrested and charged with dri- ving while under the influence of alcohol.

Compiled by Kristy Gilbert

Oct 19 Robert J. Holder, 21, Florence,

was arrested and charged with alco- hol intoxication.

Jeremy A. Patter, 21, Louisville, was arrested and charged with alcohol intoxication and criminal Uttering.

Deborah J. Speake, 30, Yosemite, was arrested and charged with alcohol intoxication.

Timothy E. Trowbridge, 22, Prestonsburg, was arrested and charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol

Oct 18 David Smith, Keene Hall,

reported that his rear window of his truck had been broken out while it was parked in the south side of Keene Hall Lot. and his radio/CD player was stolen.

Susan Marz, Combs Building, reported that a TV/VCR combina- tion had been stolen from 406 Combs.

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Re-Elect Kay

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•Served 4 terms •Owner of Village Florist •Local Pharmacist and Pro Image Limousine

•Interested in continuing tfo plan for our present and future and in preserving the past.

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em Progress, Thursday, October 31.1996 lNlCWS A5

Candidates and issues facing college voters Graphic* by Tim Mototts "M~'ch by Jennifer Almjald, Krttty GJtoert, Tim Mollette and Mary Arm Lawrenca

With less than a week before the election, this

guide will provide a glimpse into the candi- dates' campaign platforms and opinions on important topics like welfare reform and the federal budget

Candidates, or their parties, were asked ques- tions and given the chance to agree or disagree and

tell why. Those running for president, vice presi- dent and United States senators and representa- tives were questioned.

An explanation about the vote for an amendment to the Kentucky Constitution is also provid- ed. Voters can use the map below to learn what dis- trict their hometown falls in.

Alan Kincef/ProgttM

THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE

Harry Browne Libertarian

Harry Browne plans to balance the budget his first year in office by reducing government • spending.

Browne wants to end welfare completely and immediately. Browne said federal welfare doesn't work.

Browne wants to take the federal govern- ment out of education completely and imme- diately.

Not addressed in cam- paign platform.

Bill Clinton

President Clinton's budget plan achieves balance by the year 2002.

Clinton wants to make sure welfare reform will put more people to work.

Clinton proposes giving families a $10,000 tax deduc- tions for colege tuition. Universities should never give preferential treatment to minorities or women based exclu- sively on race or gender.

Bob Dole wants to bal- ance the budget by 2002. eliminating the deficit and giving tax breaks to families.

Dole proposes deep cuts in the federal wel- fare bureaucracy that gives the states the flexibility they need

Dole supports an increase In funding for student loans of almost 50 percent over the next seven years. Bob Dots opposes quotas and other prefer- ences that favor »xSvidu- ata because they belong to a particular group.

Natural Law Party

John Haegfin proposes a tow flat tax including an exemption for the poor, balancing the budget by 1999.

Existing state and federal welfare programs should be brought under one admniblidlive umbreta at the local level.

Haeglin supports financial support for every student who wants to go. to college.

Affirmative action is a necessary evi to pre- vent discrimination in the work place and in school admissions policies.

Howard Phillips OS Tax Payers Party

It is our intention to replace the entire tax system and offer a •state-rate tax-

Charity, and provision of welfare to those in need, is not a respon- sibility of the federal government.

Education should be free from all federal government subsidies, including vouchers, tax incentives and loans. We call for the elimination of all affirmative action programs which substitute race or creed for merit.

Rosa Perot Reform Party

Ross Perot supports a balanced budget amendment to the *'. U.S. Constitution. :•:

We must realize that our wefare system cannot be , reformed by itself. Al otx social programs are part ! of a complex puzzle.

Perot supports some', •. changes in financial. -. aid.

It needs to be fine- '" • tuned and changed.'Tc shut it down may or', may not be premature.

THE U.S.HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES RACE

DISTRICT 1 Dennis Null *Ed Whitfield

Republican

DISTRICT 2 Joe Wright *Ron Lewis

Republican

DISTRICT 3 k Mike Ward

Democrat Anna Northup

Republican

Don Barnard U.S. Tax Payer* Party

DISTRICT 4 Denny Bowman * Jim Sunning

Republican

DISTRICT 5 The District 5 seat la

uncontested

DISTRICTS The face-off in 6th District, which includes Madison County, pits Scotty Baesler against Ernest Fletcher.

• Scott Baesler

!

*

f

Congress should allow states to spend welfare money, with some exceptions.

Budget should be balanced by 2002.

We should review this program under present circum- stances.

Ernest Fletcher RmpubUem

States should have control The needs in rural Kentucky are drfferent than in the toner cities.

For the sake of our children, we must act responsibly.

Quotas haven't solved minority problems.

THE U.S. SENATE RACE

* Denotes incumbents

Soorca: Candktates' Web Sites, the Kentucky Candidate Information Survey and the Legislative Research Comrniaalon

Stava

Beshear favors I encouraging per-

fc sonal responsibility 5 in welfare reform.

We need to balance « the budget, but we 9 should not do so on S the backs of our

children.

Some affirmative action groups, such as scholarships for minority students, should be continued.

Dennis Lacy Libertarian

States should decide how to spend welfare money.

Trie budget should be balanced, now!

How dare the government continue to demean minorities by insinuating they cant meet standards.

*l Republican

I voted for welfare reform that encourages innovation.

I voted for a plan balancing the budget by 2002.

I oppose all discrimi- nation on the basis of race or gender in higher ed.

Mac McElroy U.S Tax Payaft Party

States should decide how to spend welfare money. ,

The federal budget could be balanced by 1998 without arty cuts in essential services.

The years have long passed when it was necessary for such preferences.

Patricia Metten Natural Law •

The Natural Law " Party agrees that. states should ': **■ control welfare.

Protecting social , programs through ' preventive solutions- to spiraling crime will allow balance. '

Affirmative action is- needed to counter real discrimination;.'

PROPOSED STATE AMENDMENT Voters will be asked to vote yes or

no "in favor of amending Sections 180 and 187 of the Constitution of Kentucky to remove language per- mitting a focal government to levy a poll tax on each person residing with- in die county or city, and to remove language requiring that separate schools for "white' and 'colored' chil- dren be maintained."

Section 180, passed in 1797, authorized counties to levy a poll

tax. A poll tax is a tax of a fixed amount upon all the persons who reside within a specified territory, without regard to property owned or job held.

Judicial and legislative activity over the last 50 years has made the poll tax obsolete as a voting require- ment The 24th Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the use of poll taxes.

In 1990, voters in Kentucky were

able to vote on deleting the poll tax as part of a more comprehensive revision of the state constitution, but the amendment was not ratified by the voters.

The other section of the constitu- tion in question is Section 187, which provided for separate public schools for "white" and "colored" children.

This section was declared uncon- stitutional in 1954.

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"Homing needs for this univer- sity have certainly changed over the last few years," Funderburk said.

Several board members asked about building new university housing to attract more residents, but Funderburk said that is not the answer.

"When you ask people who live off campus, they say they prefer it because of the rules and regula- tions," Funderburk said. They pre- fer to be off campus. "There is so much more housing available in Richmond now than there was 10 years ago," Funderburk said. The university's real purpose now is to make housing available to those who cant find it elsewhere."

Besides the campus-wide decrease in those living in universi- ty housing, supporters of the pro- posal felt it would take some of the strain off of an already overworked physical plant

The age and condition of these units has significantly increased maintenance demands upon physi- cal plant resources," Schwendeman's memo read.

After little discussion, the board voted unanimously to declare the university trailers surplus property.

"I think this is a very wise deci- sion we're making," said Board of Regents Chair Jim Gilbert

The Eastern Progress, Thursday. October 31.1996 NCWS A7

Up and Away J«ff Paik*x, a MocW socood-grader, got a closa look at a helicopter Tuesday when the National Guard landed in ModeTs baseball field.

Downtown FromPsflsAI

To guard against fctfure probtema, Knapp said he is requesting a book from the ABC that shows the differ- ence between real and take IDs.

"Well just work on being tighter with letting people in," Knapp said. "We've been tight already."

According to Covkigton, Phone 3 was not the only bar were citations were being given out

"Four people were found drinking in TazwefTs. They were taken outride where the citations were written up," Covington said. "These were all minors in possession of alcohol."

Among these was a 17-year-old Centre College student

KDy Puckett owner of Tazweffs, said the citations will not affect his bar.

They were all done outside," Puckett said Tt happened outside and they asked if they could come in and check IDs. Nothing was wrong inside. WeYe kino trouble-

Bottles Tavern, 119 N. First St, was also visited Thursday, but no minors were found in violation on the premises, Covington said

Covington, who is in charge of alcoholic beverage control in the Eastern half of the state, said Richmond has no greater problem with ABC violations than other areas.

"I can't say Richmond has a greater problem than other local areas," Covington said "All the bars are concentrated in one area, so it gives the appearance of being a greater problem than it reaQy is."

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Computing Expo wraps up festivities today By BWTTAHY DAY /Contributing writer

' Today is the last chance for stu- dents and faculty to take part in the

nstructional Computing Expo >eing sponsored by the university ind area public schools. The Expo >egan yesterday and will wrap up oday at 4 p.m.

The Expo, sponsored by the Eastern Information Technology Committee (ITC) and the Field cervices and Professional Division pffice of the College of Education,

will include workshops geared toward school educators, as well as university faculty and staff.

Many of the workshops are hands-on, and offer opportunities for participants to learn software programs such as CD-Rom Multimedia, Netscape, VisualFox Pro, PowerPoint, Multimedia, and Toolbox IV. Internet-based educa- tion and the graphics and design of World Wide Web home pages are also included in the workshop.

The luncheon speaker for today is Sandra Welch, executive vice

president for learning services at PBS. Welch is responsible for the learning services that PBS pro- vides. She has worked there since 1991, after 20 years with Kentucky Education Television (KET).

Her topic will be "Higher Education on the Telecommunications Superhighway: Where Are We Going and How Soon Will We Get There?" It begins at 11:45 am.

The Expo is arranged so partic- ipants can attend one or both days, with an advance registration fee of $50 per day; on-site registration is

$60 per day. Registration for full-time stu-

dents with proper identification is $25 per day. All costs include breakfast, lunch, refreshments and conference materials. Faculty and staff may use faculty/staff scholar- ships to attend.

Most Expo activities are sched- uled to be in the Perkins Building, which offers adjacent public park- ing.

A shuttle bus will be provided for those activities held in the Coates and Combs Buildings.

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Movie Ratings

Best = 4 pumpkins

Here are the wlrv nersoftha llsiowssn Horrors movia

; contest:

Winner No. 1

Seven Rausch received a free movie from Movie Vfarehouse

A freshman pre- eogineering major from Richmond, Rausch voted for No. 4 on our rat- ings list- "Hellraiser."

"I like the special effects and mys- tery in It."

rNo.2

Renee Parsley . received three free movie rentals from Movie Warehouse.

Parsley, a senior elementary edu- cation major from Inez, voted for No. 7 on the rat- ings list, Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

Chainsaw Massacre''

Review by Richard Freed

professor of U orature and film

Review by Jack Hlllwig mass communications professor

1 guess you can call me an authority on atrocity, a scholar of savagery, a sage of sin, a guru of ghoul. Ever since I was old enough to sleep with the lights out, I've been such a huge fan of scary movies that I've had to sleep with the lights on.

When my friends and I were growing up in the 50s and 60s, we saw every horror movie

that came to town: "House on Haunted Hill," The Tingler," The Mummy," "Invasion of the Body Snatchere," "Psycho," "Night of the Living Dead," all the Frankenstein films and most of the Dracula movies. But it was not . until I got out of college that I saw the movie that I found the most frightening, the most dis- turbing, the most gory and ghoulish, and the most entertaining.

That movie is The Exorcist" The dictionary defines an exorcist as one

who expels an evil spirit by command or prayer, one who frees people from malign influ- ences. And in The Exorcist," there is one bad mother of an evil spirit

Adapted from the bestselling book of the same name. The Exorcist" was released in late 1973. Directed by Wiffiam Friedkin, it quite simply is the story of 12-year-old Regan MacNeil (played by Linda Blair) who becomes

possessed by a demon (perhaps the devil him or herself) so vicious that it turns her into a foul-mouthed, vomit spewing, sex-obsessed, blaspheming, church desecrating, crucifix masturbating murderess.

Regan's mother, Chris, (Ellen Burstyn) is a divorced movie-star and (naturally) an agnos- tic. They live in a scary-looking, dimly lit town- house in a creepy area of Georgetown. There's also Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), a tormented Jesuit psychiatrist who is losing his faith; a humorous, kind Jewish police lieu- tenant (Lee J. Cobb) and Father Merrin. (Max von Sydow) an old and distinguished archeolo- gist-priest whose job it ultimately becomes to exorcise the demon from Regan.

The film contains heaping amounts of blood and horror. There are swiveling heads, levita- tions and vomit spewed into people's faces. There are roaring animal noises from the attic

Horror movie reviews to help in picking your

Halloween flicks.

that come at just the right time, there's poor lit- tle Regan lying in her bed as objects in the room fly around her, as the words "help me" appear in red on her body.

There's frightening, evil music. Every shad- ow looks dark and ominous. Every momafft is punctuated by the fear that the demon may be nearby. There's not a shred of humor in The Exorcist" And thaf s partly what makes it great There are no moments when the sounds or the tricks or the acting make you want to giggle or even smile. If s all played deadly seri- ous and fiendishly frightening.

William Friedkin said in the 1970s, There are only three reasons to make a movie: to make people laugh, to make them cry or to frighten them."

The Exorcist" will not make you laugh. It might make you cry. But it will most certainly frighten you.

Halloween"

Heview by Michael Hoy Staff writer and movie critic

The movie that launched the slasher movie and led to Freddy Krueger is still a scary, weD-made flick.

The story concerns a maniac, Michael Myers, who

escapes from the asylum after killing his sister 15 years earlier and returns to his hometown of Haddonfield on Halloween.

This time, his targets include an innocent baby sit- ter, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her friends, who are unaware of the approaching menace.

Trying to stop him is his psychiatrist Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance), who knows that the killer is evil

Director John Carpenter builds tension without going for the graphic gore later used in "Friday the 13th" and other films. Instead, Carpenter uses mood and suspense to scare the viewers out of their wits.

Despite some awkward performances and a rather abrupt finale, the film is still far spookier than its rip- offs or sequels.

"Hellralser

The Shining" is arguably the best adaptation of a novel written by the modem master of spook ■*- Stephen King. There are several |MP reasons for this opinion.

First and most important- ly, in this age of gash-n- splash horror, it creeps with- out being corny. It shocks without being stupid. From the opening scene, the cine- matography conveys compe- tence.

Second, the performances are haunting.

If Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance, an always up and coming writer, isn't a raving madman, he is sure- ly the next best thing.

Shelley Duvall, as Wendy Tarrance, his homely wife, for her part, is so ugh/ in this movie she is beautiful. Scatman Crothers, as the chef who

The Shining"

befriends Daniel Torrance (the boy who speaks to his finger) and who knows what's brewing, is per- fectly cast and has a nice hair cut

Directed by Stanley Kubrick, the greatest strength of this movie is that it has a

story to support it — a skele- ton (or two), if you will. That is, basic Storytelling 101 cri- teria. The movie begins,

unfolds, presents some rather unusual questions, rises as they are answered and resolves the matter in a maze in the end.

So, horror fans, if you have only one opportunity for a night-night flick this Hallow's Eve, don't waste your measly, over-taxed dollars and valuable hour on the usual goon-with-the-saw-that- gets-the-horny-teenagers-at-camp stock. Something better is shining on your neighborhood video store's shelf. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Review by Victor Cuellar Staff artist and horror movie lover

Review by Marie Moffitt Activities editor and film connoisseur

Skin being ripped apart by hooks swinging from chains dangling in mid- air and body parts spread sparingly across a bloody floor is part of the

ieUraiser."

Kebox Frariktxrtton*jtfisVMM**flMuiiolr! man to own, and a room in the old house his family lived in. Frank works with the cube by interlocking parts, and behold, terror appears. Frank is tortured by Pinhead and Company. The story continues whh Frank's brother, Larry.

As Larry and his new wife, Julia are moving into the big, old creepy rat- fiDed house, Kirstie, Larry's daughter, arrives to visit him. Larry cuts his hand while moving. He freaks out and goes dripping blood up the stairs into a dark and gloomy room that Julia somehow staggered into. Blood puddles are left on the floor and quickly evaporate into

the floorboard. The floor begins to shake and goo

bubbles out of the floor. Attention is brought around this

dark, gloomy room. "HcUcaiteriitaAD AybR average

person who can handle fright on the middlp-'range level.

The special effects in the movie are awesome, and the make up features are very realistic.

Keep an eye on the mystery man. I recommend this movie to anyone who likes movies that keep you wondering, and definitely catch the sequels.

Candyman*

Psycho"

asasasoS) Review by Jim Moreton speech and theater arts professor

Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" is a classic. Most of you probably already know that and the reputation of this I960 film doesn't depend on receiving my seal of approval. But if s got it!

The plot centers on a young office worker (Janet Leigh) who is unhappy with her life. Her 10-year job is not satisfying, and her relationship with a divorced man is stymied because of financial problems. Quite innocently, she is tempted to steal a large amount of money, and she leaves home to-join her lover where he fives. Along the way, she stays overnight at the Bates Motel, a modest inn off the beaten track There she is greeted by the owner/caretaker Norman Bates, played excellently by Anthony Perkins in a role that would overshadow the rest of his career. Without spoiling a second of the movie, I can tell you that the now-repentant thief is then savagely killed by Norman's mother in one of the cinema's most famous scenes.

Shot completely in black and white without any

It's 3 am. Cant sleep. The purring of the cat next to me sounds like a chain saw. My snoring, if I could finally get that nasty whacker out of my mind, proba- bly would too. Don't watch this movie if you have a chata saw phobia rn never again be able to use my weed eater, not to mention my lawn mower, in the same way.

•The Texas Cham Saw Massacre" is a finely crafted film, one well worth watching over and over, in order to catch the nuances of character development and me subtle ironies in the dialogue. The complex plot is somewhat difficult to follow for the ordinary film view- er a van of brothers and sisters meet a flesheating chain saw massacrer, and the vanful of brethren and sisters are killed. That is, all but one of the sisters, but I won't give away the denouement You have to see the film for yourself to see how each subtle strand of the plot comes together in the end, Kke a succulent literary stew.

The acting, likewise, brilliant The invalid brother has a wonderful way of getting on your nerves in a compelling way, with his constant and convincing carping, to the point that you find yourself hoping his death wiB be the first

This reviewer predicts that this movie will never haveasequeL

visual effects wizadry, "Psycho" takes its audience on a great suspense-filled ride. The film doesn't rely on star- turns, but it certainly gets one in the performance of Anthony Perkins as the sheltered motel owner who protects his mother at all costs. Perkins plays the young man wonderfully. Just by watching him, you know that something is wrong, but you don't know what His is the best performance in the film, which has a small cast, featuring some of the 1960s most rec- ognizable film stars and veteran character actors. Among them are Vera Miles, John Gavin and Martin Balsam. You'll even see Ted Knight (who 10 years later would find fame as "Mary Tyler Moore's" pompou8Ted Baxter) in the final scene.

The real story of this film is Alfred Hitchcock, who with his cinematographer and film and sound edition, creates one of the most famous scenes in the cinema. The shower scene in which Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) is killed is less than a minute in length, but it is made up of 78 different shots that chronicle the blood gushing from a wound or the victim emitting one scream. This scene alone is worth the money to rent the video!

Granted, there are times when the script is a little "creaky," most especially the final scene when a psy- chiatrist ties up all of the loose ends by explaining the clinical situation, but most of the time there is not a dull moment Hitchcock does whh style what most of today's filmmakers do with graphic butchery and com- puter-generated visual effects. He is a master of the genre. .

"Satan's Lot"

33)<£ Review by Jeffrey Boord-Dili assistant professor of speech and theater arts

Review by Doug Rogers professor in mass communications and co-producer of "Psychodrama"

"Candyman" has all of the makings of an urban legend. It has a monster whose heart is shaped by injustice, made human by his love for tile hero- ine, whose heart is also in the right place. (She, in fact is killed saving a neighborhood youngster).

But I am ahead of myself A friend tells you to stand before

your bathroom mirror in the dead of the night and repeat the name "Candyman" over and over. Sounds silly. OK. Do it The last thing you expect is the appearance of a 7-foot tall horror with an iron hook bolted to die wrist bones where a hand has been

hacked away! Candyman was a slave who was mistreated and mutilated just before the war between the states.Beyond this rather original exposition,

"Candyman" is little more than a run of the null slasher flick on the surface. However, it borrows heavily from such classic horror films as "Frankenstein" in making the monster someone with whom we can all identify. (Psychologists tell us that die Frankenstein monster is every teenag- er who feels unlovable because of zits and gangling arms and legs). The kid- napping of a small child in the movie is right out of "Frankenstein."

"Candyman" is, to be frame, one of those pleasures that I feel a bit guilty endorsing. It is a slasher flick through and through, yet it is one that does have uplifting moments of redemption. If s a fun movie for a scary night Watch it Then, go to your bathroom at the witching hour and before your mir- ror, repeat over and over "Candyman ..." Sure you wilL

'Vertigo"

Review by Julie Clay Staff writer and movie lover

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock and starring James Stewart, Kim Novak, Barbara Bel Geddea "Vertigo" (1958) is less of a horror movie in the tradi- tional sense Hitchcock usually inspires.

Instead, "Vertigo" traces the fear of one man who is not only afraid of heights physically, but the heights of love as well.

If "Salem's Lot" is put to my residual images test * doesn't cut the mustard.

The story is creepy enough. A big, bad vampire - takes over a small New England town. Character is reduced to close-ups of David Soul looking worried and haunted about something that is never fully explained. Suspense consists of tiie characters walk- ing slowly and waiting for something to happen to them. The all too few scary scenes are marred by the then popular zoom/freeze frame technique.

I have to admit that I jumped twice during -Salem's Lot" but jumping twice in three hours iant what Td caD a "fright feat" Rent the 112-ininute the- atrical version rather than the original length version, or just watch the second tape of die long one.

Stewart plays retired San Francisco police detective John "Scotty" Fergason, who becomes obsessed with a dreamy, wayward wife he is

hired to trail. His obsession with her is the true

horror of "Vertigo." Hauntingfy, "Vertigo" then explores

the power of love and desire through Fergason's yearning for the woman he cannot have.

This yearning is transferred to another woman, Judy. It differs from most modem horror films in their slash-and-gore plot developments, pro- voking thought about oveiwhelming desires and the toll they take on us all.

Horror in "Vertigo" comes from die ultimate realization of the destructive nature of love on both men and women.

"The Night of the Uving Dead"

Review by Donald Cain professor in mass

going into outer space have somehow triggered the resur- rection of the recently dead, and these zombies have a real taste for human flesh.

Some survive, some don't. With unprofessional acting,

nearly nonexistent production communications, cc-producer vahies homemade special of 'Psychodrama

Just to show you what dedicated film- makers, located in Pittsburgh, with only weekends in which to do their shooting, and less than $150,000 can do, watch "NQght of the Living Dead." called by some critics "the first truly modern hor- ror film."

The premise is that our rockets

effects and cheap grainy black- and-white film stock, this show

is still a triumph. It is extremely intense with nightmarish situation and sustains your dread through the whole of its run- ning time.

If you want relentless and horrifying film for your holiday viewing, try "Night of the Living Dead."

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B2 Thursday, October 31.1996 ■ ■

The Eastern Progress ► Movies

Tap OCTOBER 31

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 3

MONDAY NOVEMBER 4

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 5

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 6

UPCOMING ANNOUNCEMENTS

Q 3 p.m. a 6 - 8 p.m. Funderburk 2U. Keen Johnson James LeBeau- The Day of the crime seminar Dead

_l 12:10 p.m. Catholic Newman Center Mass for Hory Day

Q 9 a.m. • noon Campus Spotlight Day Includes tours, exhibits and com- plimentary football game passes

J 5:30 p.m. Catholic Newman Center Student Mass followed by Sunday Supper

Q Thanksgiving □ Advising Break Housing begins for Reservations Spring 1997 begin

_i 4 - 5 p.m. Ellendale Hall Counseling Center Attention Deficit Disorder sup- port group meeting

J 7 a.m. Access Control Office Powell Building Tickets for Madrigal Dinner on sale to general public

□ Nov. 9 7:30 a.m. Combs 413 Praxis — Specialty Test

U 6:30 - 9 p.m. Alumni Coliseum Auxiliary Gym Second Annual Mortar Board Fun House

_l 7 p.m. Volleyball Eastern vs. Murray State University at Murray

O 9 p.m. Combs 217 Chi Alpha Christian Organization Meeting

UCaveCKy International Student Conference for Baptist Student Union begins

RICHMOND MAIL 8 <*•_

High School High" (PC-13) 520 7:15 9:30 Sal/Sun 120 3:25 5:20 7:15 9:30 H* Mighty Dudu 3 (PC) 5:25 Sal/Sun 1:00 3:15525 UrgerThMi Life" (PC) 5:10 7:109:40 Sal/Sun 1:10 3:10 5:10 7:10 9:40 Romeo and Juliet" (PG-13) 4:10 705 9:35 Sat/Sun 1:05 4:10 7:05 9:35 Ihe Long KM Goodnight (R) Daily 7:20 950 Die Ghost and the Darknesa (R) 5:05 7:35 10:05 Sat/Sun1:45 5:05 7:35 10:05 Dear God"(PG) 5:15 735 955 Sal/Sun 125 5:15 735955 The Associate" (PG-13) 4:50 725 955 SaVSun1:15 4:50 7:25 9:55 Steepen (R) 4:00 7:0010:00 Sal/Sun 190490 7:0010.00

MlcrM'NI 3

To Post an Event the Monday prior to pubOcaHon on Thursday. You may submft events earty.

■ i you have an event you would ike published in the Whets On ■ You may also e-mail your Tap section, contact Marie announcements^ attention to MofflU or Alyssa Bramlage at WhafeOnTapto .822-1882. progrB6sOacs.eku.edu

■ Deaolne for information is noon

.

J 4:45 p.m. Kennamer Room Powell Building Residence Hall Association Meeting

Q 4:45 p.m. South Room Keen Johns oil Building Faculty senate meeting

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Q 9 -11:30 a.m.; 1 - 3 p.m. Hepatitis B Vaccine Clinics

□ Nov. 9 9 a.m. Combs Building Graduate Competency Exam for all December college of education master's degree candidates

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UNIVERSITY CENTER BOARD PRESENTS

r- '

WEDNESDAY NOV 6•9 PM

VINCE CHAMP

Vince Champ has a clean and unique brand of humor that appeals to audi- ences of all ages from coast to coast. His storytelling style is enhanced with characters portraying a point of view that appeals to the logic in all of us. Vince's

clean style of humor has allowed him to open for various stars such as Joe Cocker, Chuck Mangione, Melissa Manchester, Jay Leno and Gary Shandling. Listen to what the critics are saying about Vince and his success in comedy:

"Look out Arsenio, there's a new kid on the block!" (Lot Angeiei Time*) "Fast on his feet and very likeable." (Tho Houston Chronicle) "A breath of fresh air and quick on his feet." (The New York Post)

DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SEE VINCE PERFORM!

co^oH°r5 APPEARING WED • NOV 13 • 9 PM

JOEL ZIMMER This recent college graduate started his comedy career over five years ago, and has since been honing what Detroit Monthly magazine called, "...his keen observation - and impression filled act." As a student at the

; University of Michigan, Joel began his career by opening for national acts at the weekly run campus comedy show. Before long, he was paying hit

1 *dues and tuition by working at local Detroit area clubs. He has opened Concerts for the likes of Adam Sandier, Tim Allen, and Jeff Foxworthy just to name a

few. Take a ride with Joel as he winds you through such topics as driving with the interior light on, his dad -- the school superintendent, problems with strangers asking for the time, and the joys of donating plasma for tuition money. His clean act and amiable personality make him a favorite with young and old audiences alike.

f0?'~'*,

CENTER Intern Kentucky University

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Atyeaa Bramlage. edftor .- The Eastern Progress

Arts Thursday. October 31.1996 I

Local album rages into stores BY ALYMA BHAMUQE Arts Editor

The newest release from the heavy metal trio Cain's Rage is cel- ebrating its debut in Richmond this weekend.

"Feeding the Beast" is the band's latest effort, and takes the

art of heavy metal to a whole new level.

Cain's Rage is a Kentucky band that has over 30 years of experience between the members.

Singer Dan Pulliam, drummer Phil Kring and guitarist Lyle Pekon combine to form a loud, powerful group just waiting to be heard.

Lyrics coincide with the rage of the music to give listeners a lesson as well as an outlet for their emo- tions.

The songs can be taken as a warning for what could happen or as a way to let people know that someone feels the same way they

Whan: 0 p.m. Saturday

Where: Phone 3

Coat: $3

Cain's Rage l« (from left to right) Dan Pulliam, Phil Kring and Sherman Pefton.

Photo contributed

The band plays at Phone 3 and releases its new album Saturday. do, and is not afraid to sing about it

"Feeding the Beast" is not sugar-coated and not for the faint of heart The lyrics speak of despair and anger, they aren't a sunny view of life.

The group, without question, is one that has something to say as long as people will listen.

With influences such as Dio, Slayer, Judas Priest and Queensryche, Cain's Rage has

some big shoes to fill, but with "Feeding the Beast," the band does it

The message the band has to offer is not a pleasant one and reflects the hardship and turmoil

Madrigal creates holiday spirit

File photo

Choral performers provide entertainment for the Madrigal Dinner.

BY ALVMA BBAMLAOE Arts editor

Step back in time this holiday season and experience a medieval dinner sponsored by Eastern's food service and the musk department

The 26th annual Madrigal Dinner will be held Dec. 5-7. Tickets go on sale Wednesday at 7 am.

The Madrigal Dinner is a year- end gala event with a Christmas theme, said John Crockett catering manager.

"We're one of the few regional universities who still do a madrigal dinner," he said.

The choral music department provides a showcase of music for the diners.

Careful attention is paid to the smallest detail in order to make the evening seem as medieval as possi- ble.

"The performers are in full cos- tume, and so are the servers," Crockett said. Trumpets sound at the beginning of each course, and we even have wooden pitchers to serve water in."

The tickets are selling for $21.50; each purchaser is limited to 12 tickets.

A total of about 1,000 tickets will be sold for the three performances.

and all in the first day of sales, Crockett said.

The menu for the Madrigal Dinner changes from year to year.

"We do repeat old favorites, but try to come up with new desserts or something that we have created," Crockett said.

This year, the menu includes wassail, cream of almond soup. Quiche Lorraine, mixed dark greens with dressing, roast pork

loin with walnut dressing, aspara- gus spears with a lemon zest mari- nated apple, cranberry and orange garnish and star cake with fruit and raspberry sauce for dessert

Wassail is a hot cider mixture with cranberry juice added. It is served at the beginning of the meal in a drinking bowl.

The Madrigal Dinner is very popular with faculty and students. Students like to bring their parents, especially the choral students who are involved in it

Ticket Sales When: 7 a.m.

Wednesday Where: Access

Control Off ice Powell Building

Coat: $21.50

Different works on paper displayed BY ALYSSA BRAMLAOE Arts editor

A collection of artists begin showing their work Monday in uiles Gallery.

Five different artists will show works on paper, which is a general term used to describe any two- dimensional works which are not paintings, said Dennis Whitcopf, director of Giles Gallery.

"A long time ago, paintings were considered the only true art, and drawings were never intended to

be shown," he said. "This century, we see drawings more as fin- ished art. People are even getting degrees in just drawing."

The five featured artists are Sean Wilkinson, Ken S. Huang, Dick Dougherty, Endi Poskovic and Anita DeAngelis.

If You Go When:

7:30 p.m. Monday

Where: Giles Gallery

Coat: Free

Wilkinson is showing his pho- tographs in the upstairs gallery. His work is of greenhouses.

Huang has submitted computer art, Dougherty and DeAngelis are showing works on paper and Poskovic is showing drawings.

The gallery puts out a call to art departments, museums and gal- leries to ask for artists who would like to show their work.

Those interested artists then submit slides and portfolios, and a panel chooses who gets to show.

The gallery didn't have enough time to allow all the artists to have a show to themselves, so they creat- ed a group show, Whitcopf said.

The exhibit opens Monday and runs through Dec. 3. A reception will be held Monday from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m.; around 8 p.m., Sean Wilkinson will give an artists lec- ture in Campbell Room 239.

Giles Gallery is open weekdays from 9:15 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and on Sundays from 2 - 5 p.m. The exhib- it is free and open to the public.

associated with everyday life. We may not find that our lives

have the same drama, but the the- atrical spin only improves the album.

Cain's Rage has played over

1,000 shows from Michigan to 01. to Florida and is slowly coming im > the mainstream.

One of the songs from thei- 1993 debut album can be heard o i a compilation compact disk froi • the Chicago area

Pulliam and Kring were formei ry in the 1998 band Street Walker.

The two joined with Pekon an*1

another guitarist. Rick Sargent, to form a new band.

After losing Sargent, the band became what you see today.

Cain's Rage plays music that all people can relate to, music tha everyone feels in their soul on the dreariest of days.

It may be a little gloomy, but it is somewhat of a relief to know that someone else feels the way you do and can express it in a song.

You can catch the band at Phone 3 on Saturday.

The new album, "Feeding the Beast," will also be released Saturday.

Kentucky's heavy metal scene is becoming louder and more main stream with the release of the new album from Cain's Rage.

These guys are a band to follow in the future.

w Don Knight/Progress

The Tubas Played On James Willett, a music professor, conducted Eastern's Tuba Ensemble during Octubafest Thursday. John Merz and Hannah Risner, both freshmen, played in the section titled "Seasonal Favorites*. The two played euphoniums in this portion of the perfor- mance. Euphoniums are smaller versions of a tuba.

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w KaTrina Fields

wxn station Manager

Fields sets high goals and plans on putting her broadcasting skills toward her career.

I BY Hum Moron Activities •ditor

Fields works contentedly in the broadcasting field by juggling three positions.

How did you get Interest- ed In broadcasting?

I have always been an out- going person, and I like to meet new people. Growing up, I used to watch televi-

sion and listen to the radio a lot. That helped me deckle what I want- ed to do.

a How long have you been working with WXII?

Tve been in the department since 1994.1 started out as a disc jockey. I was program director, and also in the

same semester (spring 1996), I became the station manager.

E9 Was it tough Juggling two positions?

It got kind of hectic some- times. I stayed busy; but I liked it, so I stuck it out

What are your duties as station manager?

and I work hard on it, I can achieve it And I worked hard to get where lam at

How did you get your air name?

They tried to call me Strawberry Fields, forever, one of the guys came up with K-Love, because they

always said I was so loveable.

Do you have other jobs you are responsible for?

My other duty at WXII la being the lab assistant. I assist BEM 240 students with assignments that Mr.

Doug Rogers assigns to them. I explain to them what they might have missed in class or didn't understand.

Do you think this will benefit you in your radio career?

Yes, being a lab assistant is a great plus for me because I get to work with the equip- ment. It's more hands-on

experience this way, and when I graduate, I'll be a lot more advanced than other students.

I hope to get a job in radio, either in management or as a disc jockey.

Did you plan on majoring in broadcasting when you

to college?

It

Hometown: Emlnsnca, Ky " ajor: Broadcasting

r; Senior illy value: Fialds lathe I from har family to go to

college and she will be graduating this Dacembar.

I make sure the operations of the station are running smoothly. This semester is a lot calmer to me as station

manager. I have a staff that is will- ing to work, and I don't have to worry about things like I used to.

Did you ever think you would have the station manager position?

B Do you think the experi- ence will help you get a Job?

m

Yes, I feel I will because I have experience in modern- day technology and old equipment like reel to reel

and cart machines. A lot of students today only have the computer expe- rience.

No, I didn't. I know I had the potential, and I know if I set my mind on something

E9 What is your career goal upon graduating in December?

When I first came here, I was a business major. I fought with being in radio

because there wasn't much money in it, but I know in the long run, it'll pay off. I was looking for something I would enjoy doing.

What got you Interested In working at WXII?

When I first came here, I had to do deejaying as a class, and when I started doing it, I knew that it was

what I wanted. Station manager is my coop job. This is where I gain all my co-op hours here at the sta- tion.

How does it feel to work forMCCN?

I'm working with Ferrell Wellman and other stu- dents. I work as the news videographer and director.

If s been a good experience. I enjoy it, it is like a third job to me. I have had a taste of the real world on both sides.

Do you prefer radio or television? Music format?

Radio is where I want to be. If not, I would be glad to get in television — both

avenues are what I would enjoy doing. It's going to require a lot of hard work on both sides.

I'd rather do Top 40 or urban contemporary, but I'm quite flexi- ble in whatever comes my way.

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Activities Thuraday. October 31,1906 B5

Last-minute guide for Halloween night Easy costumes, local events scare up good times BYJUUECLAY

Staff writer

If you don't want to spend your Halloween doling out treats to midget Power Rangers, here are some ways to terrorize the town.

No costume ideas? Maybe you just don't dress up on Halloween.

Traditionally, that could be dan- gerous. Since Druid times, Halloween has been the night that ghosts wander the globe, causing mischief and mayhem.

People began dressing up as spirits to confuse the lost souls, and those who were not masked were vulnerable to all kinds of nas- tiness. So, if you go out without a costume, be forewarned.

A costume does not have to be elaborate or expensive. A little imagination and a few accessories can disguise anyone from terroriz- ing ghouls.

Costume ideas Dress as your roommate. Hey,

you already have access to the clothes, and you can imitate his or her every move!

The ghost You can do a super-

► Intramural*

holey sheet like Charlie Brown, but any old sheet will do with a couple of eye holes. If you have a wildly patterned sheet, consider the Roman toga.

Wear anything black and weird makeup (available at discount stores everywhere for just a few bucks). Black and white are good starts, then let the imagination run wild. You can be anything from a witch to a member of KISS.

Dress in a flannel shirt and jeans, stuff your biceps if you need to, pencil in a mustache, and go as the "Brawny" guy and/or his girl- friend.

For authenticity, get the label off a roll of the paper towels and pin it on your back.

Go as road kill. Dress in dark sweats, and pin stuffed animals spread-eagled on yourself. Ketchup is optional.

Empty pizza boxes, a hat, jeans and a jacket make a terrific dead pizza delivery ghost Use Elmer's glue on your face to simulate peeling skin and fake blood and greenish makeup to complete the look. Haven't we all waited this long for pizza?

The bag of leaves. Simple. A trash bag and a few leaves around the neck, and you're on the town.

The mummy. Get a friend to completely wrap you in toilet paper. The more it shreds, the more authentic it is!

Still stuck? Check out the Salvation Army for strange period clothes and accessories you can build a costume around. Be cre- ative!

Now that you have a costume, if s time to show it off.

Haunted hall The basement of Sullivan Hall is

possessed tonight by demons. The haunted floor will raise your hack- les with rooms dedicated to horror from 8 p.m. to midnight, and the $1 admission fee will go to the United Way.

Fun for kids Mortar Board is sponsoring a

Halloween party for children 0-13 from 6:30 to 9 p.m. at Alumni Coliseum, $1 admission fee.

Through the woods Off-campus festivities include

the buzzing of chain saws in the Haunted Forest from 7 to 11 p.m. And no, the ghouls there are not cutting down trees!

A $4 admission is charged for the frights, call 623-8753 for more information.

Bar scene Costume contests abound at

Richmond's night spots, and if you

have come up with gruesomely ghoulish garb, you could grab some green as well.

J. Sutler's Mill: $100 first prize, with a live remote from 104.5 FM. Judging starts at 11 p.m. Last year's winner dressed in a flesh- colored bodysuit with a shower around her.

Madison Gardens: $100 first prize. Last year's winner dressed as a Klingon. and his 6-foot-7-inch frame did the job!

The Maverick: $125 first prize, $50 second prize, $25 third prize. Memorable costumes last year were "sweet" transvestites and a streaker in flesh-colored clothing.

O'Riley's: $100 first prize, $50 second, $25 third.

Phone 3 Lounge: Prizes are Phone 3 sweatshirts, hats and a never-ending mug. Join the Mojo Filter Kings in a Monster Mash bash.

The Players Club: First prize is a dinner for two at Applebee's, complete with a limousine ride. Second and third prizes are gift certificates to The Players Club.

No costume required These activities are for those

who just want to celebrate Hal- loween. No costume is allowed.

Go out and watch the top 10 horror flicks featured on the Accent page. Grab some friends

and get your treats and be pre- pared to be spooked.

The Mexican Day of the Dead in the Keen Johnson Ballroom from 6 to 8 p.m. tonight

The Day of the Dead is a cele- bration with dancing, music and food.

The celebration is for the ancestors in Mexico, empha- sizing the continuity of family ties beyond the grave. Tickets are available for $3 in 181 Case Annex.

An event sponsored by the Intravarsiry Christians every semes- ter will beheld at 8 p.m. tonight at the Meditation Chapel.

Concert of Prayer will have certain movements of prayer; small groups to two- person groups and all will partici- pate in silent prayers.

The event is being held on Halloween because the Intravarsiry Christians believe Halloween is a serious holiday, and

they want to pray on that day. Any Christian organization oi

other organization can participate The group would like to have a; many people there as possible.

Pumpkin carved by Julta Clay using Pumpkin Masters design

Pictured left are the members ol the Mafia team. Nathan Powell, ■Curly- Fields, Bryan Stewart, Brian Greene, Shane Hatfield, Chad Biliter. Toby Bishop. Chris Douglas. Derrick Winn, Ben E. Trowell. Jack Miller, Derek Jones, Jake Jones and Johnny Bennett.

Photo submitted

Mafia wins, ski trip planned for Eastern By MAW Moron Activities editor

The Mafia is the first indepen- dent team to win the intramural flag football competition since 1992. They won their title with a 28-7 win against Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

"It was the sweetest victory," said Johnny Bennett, member of the Mafia team.

They had an overall 9-0 season. This was the first year all the team members have played together.

2 on 2 tournament Nov. 11 after the Eastern's men's

game there will be a 2 on 2 moon- light madness tournament.

All students, faculty and staff are eligible and may sign up as a team or individual; 2 on 2 is self-officiat- ing and has a men's and women's division.

In the pool play in Darling gym, 4 teams maximum in a single elimi- nation play. Top teams and ties advance to the next round. Pre-reg- ister by 4 p.m., Nov. 8.

Ski trip A mandatory meeting for a ski

trip is 7 p.m. on Monday in Begley Room 156. A $50 deposit will be required.

The trip will be Jan. 6 - 10 at Timberline Resort in Canaan Valley, W.V. The cost is $220.

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Sports

i

BrTrlWHISMAN DmtpMttMd

Winning teams gain loser fans

Get ready to see a flood of brand-new New York Yankee fans. The World Series is over, and if s time for all the bandwag- on fans on campus to buy their official Yankee hats and jerseys.

Bandwagon fans are the peo- ple who seem to show up right after a major sports team wins a title. These pseudo-fans go out and spend unbelievable amounts of money on clothes with the winning team's logo. Ifs a dis- grace to the fans who actually like a team, even when it has a losing season.

Some teams seem to attract more bandwagon fans than oth- ers. The Chicago Bulls have kept a steady flow of these groupies. The Bulls fans are particularly annoying with their flashy red jackets.

Another team that recently acquired more fair- weather fans is Dallas. I cant count how many times this season, IVe watched friends of mine, who dont even

"■"■"■■■■■■■^ like football, cheer on the Cowboys.

I feel like yelling at them to get a life! Don't they realize that everyone knows they don't know anything about the team itself, other than if they won the last Super Bowl or not?

Remember 'Bo Knows?* I'm sure you can recall the

jump in the number of Raiders fans when Bo Jackson played for them. I dont seem to see that many black and silver sweat- shirts in my friends' closets any- more. I dont guess there will be too many Atlanta T-shirts in there from now on, either.

Many real fans don't like wearing their team's logo after a championship victory.

No one wants to look like a bandwagon fan if they know they aren't one. Ifs pretty bad when people who have been fans for as long as 10 years are afraid other true fans will think they're fair-weather fans if they wear a championship shirt

I know I won't be wearing any Yankee T-shirts in the next few months. As much as I like them, I refuse to be thrown into the category of a bandwagon fan. I wonder which of my friends will be the first to spend S30 on a baseball hat and $90 on an offi- cial Yankee jersey.

When these fans go out to buy the paraphernalia, they sometimes even mix and match. Ifs actually funny to see these pathetic souls. You may have seen one wearing a Dallas hat with their Bulls sweatshirt, car- rying a Braves back pack.

I have seen them wear differ- ent team logos from rival schools, all at the same time. One kid I went to school with loved to wear his UK hat and his Duke sweatshirt on every other Thursday. Didn't he watch the UK vs. Duke NCAA Regional Finals? True blue fans will never forgive Christian Laettner, so this outfit is defi- nitely wrong.

They Just can't fool us Ifs a joke that these people

even put on the teams name and think well believe they know anything about the players.

Try it sometime. Test your friends' knowledge of their new favorite team. If they can't go back to at least the year before the championship, ifs very like- ly they'll be rooting for some other team next season.

Sometimes you can find a really extreme bandwagon fan. These are the ones who can only list one player from the winning season — usually the one on the Nike commercial.

Sometimes, I'm glad my teams aren't the best of the best Like my brother always tells me When you're No. 1, your team attracts sellouts. At least with a bad record, you'll know another real fan when you meet one — by the hats they wear.

He's right — IVe never met a bandwagon Saints fan yet

Eastern continues conference run Worries turn into points as Colonels rout Martin, 45-7 BY BUM Sports editor

Amy Kearns/Progn

Third-string tailback Draw Hall broke through the line during the fourth quarter on his way to 98 rushing yards on 11 carries. Eastern rushed for a season high 409 yards in its 45-7 trouncing of conference foe Tennessee-Martin.

Revamped State to visit Richmond BY BRIAN Sane Sports editor

After guaranteeing Tennessee State their fifth consecutive losing season, with a 56-20 win over the Tigers last year in Nashville, Eastern coach Roy Kidd knew changes were going to be made in State's program.

Such as a new head coach, five new assistants and a new attitude for the Tigers.

Those changes have resulted in a three-game winning streak for State, their longest since 1992, and hope for an Ohio Valley Conference crown.

"We brought on a quality coach-

►Golf

ing staff," first-year Tiger coach LC Cole said. "We made the kids believe in themselves more and had more discipline.''

Kidd has seen some changes besides the Tigers better record, 4- 3,3-lOVC.

"You can just tell they're going about things a lot different,'' Kidd said. They're a whole lot better than the team we played last year."

That team finished with a 2-9 record, was last in the conference in team offense and fifth in defense

This year, however, the Tigers — who are tied for third place in the league with Eastern Illinois — are fourth in offense and third in defense.

They're executing better," Kidd

said. "We do know they will blitz a lot, and they will play a lot more man coverage against us, which we have not seen a lot of."

Offensively, the Tigers possess a strong passing game, much better than the one Eastern saw last week against Tennessee-Martin.

State is first in the league in pass- ing offense with 240 yards per game; this leaves the Colonels vul- nerable to the draw play, something they have had trouble with all year.

"Anybody who has any kind of passing game is gonna run the draw at you to slow your rush down," Kidd said. The two run plays that have hurt us this year more than anything are the option play and the draw play."

MARTIN, Tenn.— When Eastern football coach Roy Kidd walked onto the field at Skyhawk Stadium to face Ohio Valley Conference foe Tennessee- Martin, the 33-year-old Colonel head man had a worried look on his face.

"In pre- ^^^^^ game warm- _ ^ up, it just eastern* didn't seem TSMMMSSS like we _.. were ready StatO

£d/ljj£ W£L£y,'>-m' have any Wh»w Hoy Kidd intensity. Stadium and I was a R**k»: 1340 AM little con- WEKY cerned."

But when the game started, Kidd's team changed his grimace into a smile. as it scored on four of its five first- half possessions en route to a 45-7 win over the host Sky hawks.

"We just wanted to go out there and take care of business, and sometimes it doesn't have to be all hootin' and hollerin' to go out and play ball," Colonel center Son Tran said. "Sometimes, you have to go out with a set mind of, OK, let's take care of business and go on."

From the get-go. Eastern (4-3, 4-0 OVC) did indeed take care of business, quickly.

After a Cory Clark interception just short of a minute into the game, the Colonels took 5:06 off the clock for their first scoring drive.

The second lasted a total of 2:11, and the third only 2:23.

The final scoring drive for Eastern in the first stanza wasted a mere 1:11 off the clock and pro- pelled the Colonels into the locker

room with a 284 lead. "We just came out, blew them

off the line and trampled down the field on them," Eastern tackle Tyron Hopson said.

A season-high 558 total yards of trampling was what the Colonels put on Martin (0-7,0-5).

The bulk of their production was on the ground, amassing 409 yards rushing.

Two Eastern backs, and almost a third, eclipsed the century mark on the muddy field.

Tailback Daymon Carter led the running assault with 129 yards on 15 carries. William Murrell gained 108 yards on eight tries, in front of many family members and friends, since he is from nearby Mayfield.

Third string back Drew Hall carried the ball 11 times for 98 yards, all in the fourth quarter.

"Our running game was great today," Kidd said. "I'm surprised that we ran the ball as well as we did. We just had them out- manned."

The Colonel defense got the job done on their side of the ball, also.

Eastern limited an air-happy Skyhawk offense to only 185 yards passing, on 33 attempts.

"Our secondary is getting bet- ter every week," Kidd said. "What's really helped our sec- ondary is that Danny Thomas has finally come on."

Thomas, who switched from wide receiver to strong safety early in the season, recorded five tackles, recovered a fumble, forced another, intercepted a Billy Joe Spann pass, blocked a field goal and broke up four passes.

For his performance, the junior from Winchester was named OVC Defensive Player of the Week

The Colonels will host confer- ence foe Tennessee State 1:30 p.m. Saturday at Roy Kidd Stadium.

Men, women find success in fall seasons BY gsjsjj SUMS Sports editor

Success was what Eastern's women's golf coach Sandy Martin and men's coach Lew Smither expected when they teed off their fall season in September.

And success was what each coach received.

The women won two of their five tournaments, and the men claimed three of their seven.

Both coaches agreed that this fall season was the best ever.

"Our kids went out and prac- ticed hard this fall," Smither said. They wanted to make their mark."

► Volleyball

Erica Kris Montgomery O'Donnell was was the low Lew Smither's player for low man for Sandy Martin's «■ the fall season Lady Colonels with his 72.8 with her 76 WW stroke aver- stroke aver- ^x^* age. age. X^&J

As a team, the Colonels made their mark at the Dayton Invitational, the Colonel Classic and the Kentucky Intercollegiate with first-place showings. For the season, the men had a

team average of 75.74. "I think this has been the best

team that I've seen here at Eastern," said Smither, who has been coach for 12 years.

Kris O'Donnell was the low man

for the Colonels with his 72.8 stroke average.

Over the break between the fall and spring seasons, Smither said his squad will work on their putting.

The women's team claimed titles in their first two tournaments of the season, the Lady Flyer Invitational and the Tennessee Tech Classic.

They also had a second-place showing in the Racer/Hilltopper Invitational to end their season.

The Lady Colonels did lead heading into the final round, but found problems with their putting

No thunder from Herd as team rolls BvCHaPQuHM Assistant sports editor

"Why can't I get this team to play this way day after day?"

That*s a question Eastern vol- leyball coach Geri Polvino asked about her team after it defeated Marshall University Tuesday in three games: 15-13,15-8,15-3.

Marshall sported a 16-10 record coming to Richmond, while the Colonels were 8-14 overall.

Eastern drew first blood going ahead 2-0. Marshall raced to a 6-2 and 7-4 edge in the midst of the first game.

After tying the score at seven, and another tie at eighfc Eastern fell behind 13-9. The Colonels closed out the first game 15-13 as Shelby Addington served the win- ning point

Addington recorded 11 kills, putting her three kills away from the 1,000 career kill mark

"All I knew was their record," Marshall coach Bob Evans said. "We couldn't have had more errors if we tried. Eastern played aggressive."

The Thundering Herd had 33

errors and 27 kills on 106 attacks. Their hitting percentage came out negative at -.057. Eastern, on the other hand, only had nine errors with 35 kills out of 83 attacks. Their percentage came out to .313.

Eastern's three-game victory came on the heels of a five-game decision last Friday against Tennessee Tech.

Going the distance was nothing new to both squads; the last time they met, they went five games. The Colonels won the first encounter, but this time, Tech won 20-18 in the fifth game.

After dropping the decision to Tech, Eastern is now in a three- way tie for sixth-place in the Ohio Valley Conference with a 4-7 record, tied with Tech and Austin Peay.

Starting Friday, the team hits the road for three matches, begin- ning with Murray State. Eastern returns home for its final home stand of the season Nov. 8 - 9.

"They have to be hungry," Polvino said. "There has to be a pride that they're capable and they can do it"

and finished nine strokes behind Murray State.

"We had some individuals who put together the things we worked on and and kept it going," Martin said. They need to be proud of their season and look forward to the fact that they will be better in the spring."

Erica Montgomery led the team with her 76-stroke average.

The women's team will kick off their spring season March 3 in the College of Charleston Invitational.

The men will begin their season Feb. 7 in the Fripp Island Invitational.

► Crosscountry

Runners look to defend OVC title

Dsnisl BtoctWrVZrfTogrsN

Junior Amy Msrron, left, and Shelby Addington want up for a block In the Colonels five-gams loss to OVC opponent Tennessee Tech Friday.

BTCHADQUEBI Assistant sports editor

The women's Ohio Valley Conference cross country champi- onships have meant the same thing to Eastern for the past 15 years — victory.

Saturday, the Lady Colonels go for 16 In a row.

"Our women should win," Eastern coach Rick Erdmann said. "If someone fell with a stitch in her side, and we had to depend on our freshmen, I dont know."

Eastern travels to Martin, Tenn. for the championships. Erdmann sin- gled out Morehead State and confer- ence newcomer Eastern Illinois as teams challenging for the conference crown in the men's competition, but he said not to rule out the Colonels.

"I'd like them to be competitive with the top teams," Erdmann said. "Morehead's the defending champi-

See Cross country /Page B7

MM

■■■■ mwmm ^m vaw

Tennis squads end fall season

1, ThUaday,Oe«ob.r31.1996 SpOI»tS B7

BYLHPOTTW SportawrtttT

Eastern's fall tennis season came to rest Friday. Both the men's and women's team had a single match against Xavier University.

These kids just did great," coach Tom Higgins said. There were some close matches, but our men's team pulled ahead.

The weather was awful It was a cold, rainy day and we spent it on and off the courts because of the rain. Those conditions were the worst kind to play in."

The men's team beat Xavier 5-2 with everyone winning their sin- gles matches except for the No. 1 and No. 2 players, Chad Williams and Shaun Porter, respectively.

The only close match in the sin- gles play was the No. 5 match fea- turing Jamie Sellars. He won 7-5, 0-6, 7-6 (7-2). The men won all of their doubles matches with scores of 8-6, 8-5, and 8-3.

The women's team didn'J fare as well. They lost to Xavier 6-3.

Only Jennie McGinnis, the No. 5 player, won her match 6-3, W).

The only other close match was the loss by No. 2 Olivia Nichols, with a score of 44, 7-6, 2-6.

The play of the women's dou- bles was considerably better.

Only the No. 1 doubles pair of Olivia Nichols and Heather Long lost, 8-3.

Nicola Oakley and Nikki Edwards, the No. 2 doubles beat Xavier 9-7 and the No. 3 combo Jennie McGinnis and Ellen Smith won 8-2.

"What I look for, as a coach, is improvement from week to week and this group of athletes did just that," Higgins said. "Both teams showed significant improvement in all areas. They became more consistent as the season got older, and their attitude was excellent."

After taking a week off to rest, both teams will start conditioning and have a few practice sessions to get ready for the spring indoor/outdoor season.

"We start our men's indoor sea- son the weekend of Jan. 24," Higgins said. "We invite three teams and play a round robin here at Adam's Court This way, we get to play three games and not have to pay to play indoors.

"We alternate weekends between the men's and women's teams. That way, each team will end up with three weekends to play indoors, then we begin to travel and get more experience in our outdoor play," Higgins said.

The men will begin their spring season against Wright State, while the women will face Akron.

Both matches will take place at the Greg Adams Building.

Sometimes horrors mar thrill of victory

While Matt Simons (above) and the rest of the man's bas- ketball team answered ques-

tions from reporters during Media Day and practiced last

Wednesday, forward Marty Thomas (right) had to sit

through physical therapy for his back. R wM not be known for at least another two weeks M the

junior will be out for the season because of a slightly hemiated |

disc in his back.

Don ntt0mr^mWm%

Meet the Press Media Day at Eastern brings more questions

BTCMSOQUM Assistant sports eolkx

7k* a the final story in a five-part series looking at the History of Eastern

Two separate incidents involving different people with similar results

Lorenzo Fields quarter-backed the Colonels in the late '80s into the 1990 season. After the first six games of the 1990 campaign, Fields helped lead Eastern to a perfect record.

Game seven found the Colonels facing m off against Ohio ™ ^^^^~- Valley Conference foe Tennessee State.

Time appeared to stand still for Fields; once again, that fateful Homecoming game was upon him.

"I've thought about it probably for the last six years," Fields said. "Every time Oct. 20 comes up, I usu- ally have flashbacks, but I've been so busy this year that during that week, I didn't have time to think about it"

Leading up to Oct. 20, the Colonels had defeated No. 1 ranked Middle Tennessee and also No. 3 Georgia Southern, and dedicated Roy Kidd Stadium by beating No. 18 Central Florida. Eastern was No 1 heading into the State contest

"We were up like 34-17," Fields sskL "I was out of the game with my shoulder pads off and everything."

State mounted a comeback, and Fields was called back into action.

"It was an option play," Fields said. "As I-was reaching the goal line, a guy reached out and dragged me down by the back of my shoul- der."

The 44-yard scamper helped Eastern pad its lead, but as Fields' body was dragged down, his foot got caught up underneath him and he fractured his ankle and fibula

Eastern finished the season 10-2. Fields' injury ended his career as a Colonel, and also affected the team's chances for victory.

The maroon and white went 3-2 without their senior quarterback, bowing out in the first round of the playoffs.

Colonel men's basketball coach Mike Calhoun had his own haunting experience in the third game of his career here at Eastern.

On Dec 8,1992, Calhoun had to prepare his squad to travel to nation- ally ranked University of Kentucky. Rtino's squad that year included the likes of Jamal Mashbum and Jeff Braasow.

Eastern had the lead at half and was down by one, 73-74, with 1:09 left in the game.

Braasow hit a key basket that put the Wildcats up for good, as the home team went on to wLi by nine points, 82-73.

In the final minute. Colonel Chris Brown was at the free-throw fine and had a chance to trim Rtino's squad's lead to two. He missed both.

"Chris Brown was phenomenal," Calhoun said. "He was so physically and emotionally drained that he couldnt shoot the free throws."

The energy was so intense in the gym that I really thought the baskets moved," Calhoun said.

Kentucky finished that season reaching the Final Four and four losses.

The Colonels gave Calhoun a 15- 12 overall record and a second-place finish in the OVC regular season. .

"It haunts and hurts now with each passing minute of each passing day," Calhoun said. "As time goes on, one realizes that opportunity only comes along so often. At night, I still think of one, two, or 50 things to win that game."

BY BWM Seats Sports editor

The men's basketball team at Eastern hosted its" annual Media Day Oct. 23 to answer questions from reporters. However, it was the Colonels who appeared to have the questions.

The main question is if forward Marty Thomas will have to sk out a year far his slightly hemiated disc.

Eastern will not know Thomas' fate for another two weeks, when he visits the neurologist

"It is a severe situation," coach Mike Calhoun said.

Even more questions were asked about every other position for the team

Will the University of Louisville transfer be able to make an imme-

diate impart alter having to sit out ayear?

Will junior college transfer Daniel Sutton be able to make the immediate impact that he is expected to have on the Colonels?

WiO sophomore Travis Inskeep be able to handle the point guard duties after limited experience last year?

Will Carlos Bess, who Calhoun said is expected to have a big sea- son, live up to those expectations?

And finally, who will occupy the power forward for the Colonels — Aaron Cecil or Warren Stukes?

Eastern will have until Nov. 11 to answer those questions, when they open in an exhibition game against the Kentucky Crusaders.

I've tried to search and find a way to describe this year's team already, and I've had a few prob-

lems with it already," Calhoun said. "I guess the best word I can come up with is 'surprises.'"

Also during Media Day, the ath- letic department announced they will now have corporate sponsors for basketball games —something they have never had

Thus far, only three companies, Accordia, Redi Mart and Hershey, have given the $1,000 necessary for sponsorship.

Mike Blaser, assistant director of athletics, said this is a part of the department's attempt to get the community more involved with Eastern basketball.

The sponsoring companies will be offering deals on their products for ticket seekers.

"If s helping us to market our product and their product," Blaser •aid.

Cross Country: Women favored From Page B6

on, they probably think they're gonna win."

Senior Scott Fancher is part of a trio of Eastern runners who have paced the team. Charlie Moore and Titus Ngeno have also run in the first spot for the Colonels.

"We're really prepared," Fancher said "I feel we can win the OVC if all five of us finish in front of Morehead's third or fourth guy."

Erdmann said the men have little room for error; he's just taking six runners: Fancher, Moore, Ngeno, David Machungo Kabata, Michael Sill, and Rob Hartman.

The Lady Colonels' performances have been similar to the mens'; a trio has rotated to lead the team: Sarah Blossom, Mandy Jpnes, and Jamie King. Each has won at least one race this year.

Blossom is the defending confer- ence champion.

"We have to have the same kind of performance, if not better. Eke we ' had in our home meet with runners'; like Jenni Brown and Sabine Klett stepping up," Erdmann said

The Eastern Open was the only; competition where Blossom, Jonef, and King broke up; Brown claimed; the third spot for Eastern. In the '. same race, the Lady Colonels* claimed the crown by 38 points over the nearest team, and 67 points over conference foe Morehead.

"I think the freshmen have start- ed to step up," King said. "If we all run like we're capable, we should win-

After the OVC, the next possible race is the Districts, on Nov. 16. Erdmann said he would wait until after Saturday to see who will race. -

"Well go in rested to the OVC, but not too rested to forget about. the other meet (Districts)," King-1 said. -"-:

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U. VIEWS 9 U. Mail, editorial cartoon and deep, thought-provoking poll questions.

QUICKIES 8 Witty campus anecdotes, cleverly packaged with you in mind.

U. NEWS 9 Check out the "new" mobile student — trailer t.tlkin'. grilled cheese eatin', rolling home

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U. LIFE 1S Dollars / Easy Moray

The next time you buy a lottery ticket, think about this: You could be financing a student's education. Find out which states give students more luck with their buck.

12 Urge / Live In Learn You grew up thinking June and Ward Cleaver actually slept in separate beds. Now you're living in sin. So, do you tell the parents or not?

17 Etc. / Doodles For Dollars r Is the next Gary Larson doodling for your student newspaper? Read all about student

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13 Justice For All? What happens to those nutty kids who get caught streaking or those naughty students accused of sexual misconduct? Whether it's 40 lashes with a wet noodle or expulsion from school, the judicial system at your school might be covering up the crime and punishment. Get the verdict on student judicial boards.

16 Straight But Not Narrow They're the few, the proud, the gay-friendly. Some schools are taking proactive steps to ensure an open, welcoming campus atmosphere for gay students. Is your school one of them? Plus, an update on the not-so-friendly reality of homophobia on campus.

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U. of FLORIDA

Ill VIEWS

You ramp what you sow

I was deeply disturbed by the "Gen-

eration Hexed" cartoon [September

1996). This particular cartoon ridiculed

a person because they were .,. gup1- >•■ a

middle-aged studenr!

People need to realize that the seeds

of bigotry and prejudice can be planted

anywhere and these seeds can grow into

a bias against any person or culture.

Prejudice is not restricted to a few

groups or circumstances. If people wish

to stop racism, sexism, classism or other

forms of prejudice, they must address

their own personal biases. Ageism is as

detrimental to our society as other

forms of prejudice.

Stephen £ HuckoJew, copy editor. School of Aerie., Pennsylvania State U.

Ebony an*3 Ivory

I'm writing

about Wesleyan U.

and their Malcolm

X house |MX Marks

The House," Sep-

tember I996|. I

think it's a shame

that we have

regressed back into

segregation. Do

these students who

want an all-black

house also want all-

black diners and

water fountains?

The quote that

the Malcolm X

house gives them "a

place where we

don't think about

race" made me

laugh. How can the

junior residence

advisor say they

need a place where

race doesn't matter

when it obviously

matters very much

to them?

RcneeSbifUt, senior. Son the as I Missouri Stole U.

I found "X Marks The House" very

disturbing. I found the problem was a

complete contradiction of what the

house stands for. A quote from Angie

Montgomery reads, "The Malcolm X

House gives us a place where we don't

think about race. We can be ourselves."

If the house is a place where race isn't a

concern, why are they so concerned if

"non-black" students live there?

Shouldn't any form of education be

open to people of all nationalities? 1

hope in the future people can really not

think about race instead of saying it to

keep their single-race home.

Mike Brooks, mpkomore, Iowa State U.

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Justin Ntmmtii, MfmmnW&Mk Virginia Teek U.

Return to sender

I hanks to the watchful eyes of many eco- froovy college eranotas we remitted that the wrong Web address made it to print I Acid Rain Drain. September 19961. The correct URL for the ARRFat U of Southern Maine is hup Mwww. mm. mainE edul-pesJarrf.htm. Sorry to all of you readers who tot last

U. Roll* Athletes — should they get

special treatment?

Should gay marriages be legal"?

moo/otu-ymwm

Ever cheated In a clams?

I hive an indirect iniwtr 10 the question My dad i« • teacher who caught a student cheating in the back of the elan. He had hit lock and shoe off and his textbook on the floor. He was turning the page, with hi. bare foot. Kf*fe M—ft, onOUOW SOOOOmt, TOXOO TOCO • The question "Ever cheated in a clan?" was often- sive to mc. 1 come from a conserva- tive, Baptist background. I never cheat. Anyone who has needs to be expelled. It's just wrong. Hoboll Footor, limit, Mlddlo Tonnooooo Stoto ft • Hard to believe, but no, I haven't cheated on a ten since high school. MMMff, Ummor, ft Of Somtti CaWBttM • What kind of question is that anyway? Of course! The best ways that I have gotten away with it is to write a small cheat sheet and I've been able to put it under my class ring, in my ear, in my pen top and on my baseball cap bill. I don't think I could ever have passed half the math and science classes I've taken. fnCk AowOfOQO, oooiof, Flori- da Stoto ft • I haven't cheated at

the aarvenky, but in high school it was a must. It was the only way I got by. SaOOOltO ftsMwwtV. frMft- mm, Florida A . H ft • Yei. I have cheated in a class although it has never been off someone else, just crib notes. DJ UoHKOt, Junior, Loololaoa Stoto ft. • Yes. I have cheated in class and I will cheat until I graduate from college. Komyo, •wafer. Nor** Stoto ft, wa. • No, I have never cheated on a test before Cheating doesn't get you anywhere. All you have to do is study, study, study and you will make it. LaSaawo Joaaooa, trotamoa, Hlnthroa Collo$o • Yes I have becauae I'm a business student at use. Ammmrmom, ft of fwmtn California • As far as college. I've never cheated. When I was younger, I was in a competitive honors prgram and I felt compelled to. At that time, it was nothing major. I definitely wouldn't do it again. I know it's wrong, but the peer pres- sure got to me. AMOaymoao • I have always figured that the guy or girl sitting next to me had to be as stu- pid as I was otherwise they would not have been there, so why bother cheating? Jw», and IBjdomt, Cfera- femsStSfeft

Vegetarian or meat eater? Wgf—rfe Ma fetor:

I'm a proud, full-fledged carnivore. None of this omnivore shit for me. It's meat, meat, meat al the way. I think awyuin who just eats vegetables or eats half vegetables needs to be shot. Because the only thing they are doing is promoting agriculture and what docs agriculture do? It promoter Southern life and what does that do? It promotes stupidity. And just ... just ... just... oh hell, oh shoot, oh bloody hell, I need to go eat a steak. Scott Fojotor, Imnlor, Mlddlo Toaaoooot Afefe ft • Meat cater definitely. SmfJr* •MM, Jmkr. ft of Soator tern*** • II there's one dung I know, it's eating. I spent the first 22 years of my life glut- tarian (eating anything). Then I spent rime vegetarian (no meat), vegan (no meat ♦ dairy), fruitarian (only fruit), liquidarian (only liquids) and breathar- ian (only air). Also two 20-day water huts. My recommendation: Choose the purest food and the least amount of it you can. But. most importantly, be happy with what you eat. fist P90Wm

ton, low ttudomt, ft of Wltcoailn,

*m>w>i*mto»momt099U*i»*to Win UomUV **->'»•»»—*•■ ■*• -»r""-rfe catjoo,aomWtoOmommWmmiotlimuOo}t wwto> *****kuwafe mt felt fer torn oaM toon U mm. tomWrnoOntmimtm Namstaaa»>itwXti« •lMfermx.XssfeaMr1lM.ahw>* to la* Omm to tow*. Bwyto - —

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6 U. Magazine • November 1996

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CREDIT CARD CAPER U. of Arizona

A Kappa Alpha fraternity mem- ber learned a hard lesson when his new American Express card was stolen from the fiat house mailbox while he was out of town for the weekend. (Guess he shouldn't have left home without it.) The thief wasted no time and charged $450. All evidence points to one telltale suspect: a weekend house guest who bought and consumed an astonishing amount of pizza. Way to cover your tracks, buddy.

BIRTHDAY BOOZE BANNED U. of Nebraska, Lincoln

Students can no longer expect free birthday drinks at Lincoln bars. Thirty-seven estab- lishments are trying to clean up their pavement (commonly referred to as "the most puked- upon stretch of concrete in the United States"). Bar owners say they're concerned about birth- day bar crawlers who stop in for a free drink at every pub on the strip, consuming as many as 20 shots of liquor, sometimes to the point of alcohol poisoning. "We're not trying to poop on everybody's fun," says one owner. "This way, hopefully, people will run out of money before anyone gets in trouble." Looks like that crisp $10 bill in the birthday card from Grandma will be put to good use after all.

PIGSKIN CLOUDS OF N.6WT VOODOO ^m x iHPio«c -met.. California State U., M ^CuRSCJH/S San Jose ^rT^'^^J^?R"r

Blessing your lucky |ixk BWJ t^V/^Bm W^KMNT.'^

is one thing, but hiring a professional to put a curse on your competition? Well, that's exactly what the San Jose State football team is looking to do. The team is searching for the where- abouts of Josephine < '.mi catti, a Sicilian malocchio, or "evil eye," who is said to be capable of putting spells on sports teams. In 1955, before the World Scries, Canicarti was hired by Brooklyn to curse Yankee manager Casey Stengel. Not only did the Yanks lose, but Stengel lost $200,000 in a real-estate deal later that year.

THE PEPSI CHALLENGE? Shoreline Community College, Wash.

A 21 -year-old business student at Shoreline is suing PepsiCo Inc. for alleged breach of contract,

fraud, deceptive and unfair trade practices and misleading adver- tising. You sec, he saw an ad say- ing he could win a Harrier fighter jet for 7 million

HEADS UP Colorado State U.

Those Frisbces from hell must be stopped. Complaints about flying discs hitting windows, cars and pedestrians prompted administrators at Colorado State to move the disc-golf course off- campus. Students really need to work on their wrist action and follow through. At least 70 windows were broken in one year thanks to the deadly discs careening off-course.

X

Pepsi Points. (That's 16.800,000 cans of Pepsi.) Believe it or not. he managed to collect the points. Now he wants his jet, but Pepsi says it was all a joke. Looks like the joke may be on them.

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS U. of New Mexico

A man filed a civil complaint against two university psychology professors who refused to acknowledge his "gift" for mental telepathy. After asking one profes- sor to design an experiment to sci-

entifically prove his telepathic abilities, the man was initial by the outcome, which (surprise, surprise) showed no evidence of mystical powers. The chair of the psychology department wrote the man a letter describing his delu- sions as "unrealistic and irra- tional." The man is now asking $5,000 in damages for grievous violations of his civil rights. Hmmm. We had a feeling he'd ask for that much money. Don't know how we knew. It just kind of came to us....

HIPPO HAVEN George Washington, U.

To honor the incoming Class of 2000, the university's president used his personal hinds to buy a large hippopotamus statue, which is now prominently displayed on the corner of the D.C. campus.

As legend has it, the mighty hippo was said to be George Wash- ington's favorite animal. The uni- versity president is encouraging students to rub the animal's nose for good luck before exams, ballgames or any other chancy endeavors.

MCAT MANIAC Taking the Medical College

Admissions Test can be nerve-rack- ing, especially when there's a

crazy gunman at your side. V In a premeditated incident,

an armed man stormed a San Francisco test site and

v snatched a copy of the 1 exam while more than 100

test-takers crouched under their desks. He claims he was trying to invalidate the test because his friend

scored poorly on it. Maybe he just wanted to check their reflexes.

DOUBLE WHAMMY U. of Minnesota

A student riding his bicycle in the bike lane near campus was struck by a Nissan Pathfinder. Ouch. It was the second time the biker had been hit by a motorist. As if that weren't enough trauma, the motorist got out of the car and pro- ceeded to assault the bicyclist for no apparent reason, hitting him on the back of the head with his fist. The assailant then fled the scene of the crime, giving a whole new meaning to the term "hit and run."

STRIKE UP THE BAND Alabama State U.

A fight broke out after Alaba- ma's football team beat Jackson State U.. Miss.. 40-0 in the labor Day Classic. No, it wasn't bitter players or frenzied fans embroiled in the brouhaha. The skirmish involved the two schools' marching band members, who took their fight songs to heart. The brawl began as the two bands, with about 200 members each, were boarding their buses for home. As the fight- ing spread, musical instruments were used as weapons. Talk about hitting a sout note.

REQUIEM FOR A STUDY AID U. of California, Berkeley

A dozen medical students paid their last respects to two unnamed cadavers they dissect- ed for their anatomy class. Floral arrangements, incense. Bible verses and music — Elvis Costel- lo to be exact — added warmth to the cold lab- oratory setting. The memotial was meant to help fledgling doctors learn to deal with death and dying. Maybe the final exam should be canceled to give mourning students a chance to grieve and heal.

I 8 U. Magazine • November 1996

mMM Goin' Mobile L AWN CHAIRS? CHECK. PINK FLAMINGOS? CHECK.

Coolers of beer? Check. Faux wood siding? Double check.

It doesn't sound like the makings of your average dorm dwelling, but students at schools like Utah State U. and the U. of California. Sana Cruz, arc finding that mobile home and trailer park living is the life for them.

Utah State offers married stu- dents the opportunity to live on one of its 178 mobile home "pads." The university maintains the pads and rents them to students, but the stu- dents are responsible for buying the mobile home on the plot.

"The trailer park has been around since 1958," says John Ringlc, associate director of housing at USU. "We even have a trailer from '58 that's still there. It's not very mobile, but it's still there."

Students buy their mobile homes — which can range from $10,000 to $20,000 — and pay the school about $175 a month for rent and utilities.

"It's better than renting an apartment," says resident and Utah

State gtad Brook Ormsby, whose husband is a senior at the school. "The rent is cheap, you get back what you put into it when you sell it, and you can remodel it or do whatever you want with it."

The trailer park at Santa Cruz

isn't only for married students, although the number of spaces is limited to about 45 slots, says resi- dent and senior Josh Muir.

"There's a long waiting list because this is a great place to live," Muir says. "It doesn't fed like you're living on campus, even though you are. I wouldn't be able to live in the dorm — the people and the atmos- phere are just different."

Muir says that other than a few lawn chairs around the park, the trailer park stereotype isn't really true at Santa Cruz.

"The park isn't really trashy, like some people would expect," he says. "But for this kind of rent, I can put up with any trailer park stigma."

Pass the grilled cheese, please.

By COMT Ruth, Astoria* Editor / Photo courtaty of Donna Horctmer

Join thm upwmrdty

File Under Scholastics « Y TERM PAPER WAS CONFISCATED BY THE

government." "My absence was due to M XTXan alien abduction. "An out-of-body experience made me fall asleep in class."

These excuses might not fly with MacKcnzie is the instructor for ordinary instructors, but U. of The Real X-Files, a course that teaches Washington's Sean MacKcnzie students how to investigate the kinds doesn't teach an ordinary class. of paranormal phenomena featured

on the TV show. The elective is offered through UW» Experimental Col- lege, a nonprofit continu- ing education program.

In the class, MacKcn- zie provides documenta- tion on mysterious phe- nomena. Like the sutgeon vff\o removes implants from patients who claim they were abducted by aliens. Then

there's the reptilian goat vampire, called "El Chupacabras," that report- edly sucks blood out of farm animals in Florida and Puerto Rico. And don't discount missing-time experi- ences — e.g.. it's noon, you see an alien in the backyard, you check your watch and suddenly it's 9 p.m.

Basically, anything that's been investigated by Scully and Mulder is fair game for MacKcnzic's syllabus.

"Strange clouds fly over, and it rains frogs. Stuff like this really hap- pens," MacKcnzie says.

Alice Lancaster, an environmen- tal engineering grad student, says she took the class because of a scien- tific interest in unexplained phe- nomena. But some classmates told her they had seen UFOs and wanted to make sense of theit experiences.

"I've always had a childlike wonder about the fantastic," Lan- caster says. "I think everyone has some sort of experience with the unexplained,"

By Paul DutMay, U. of WaalUngton/mut- tratton by Frad DaUay. U'. ol Tennataaa. Knoxvm

A Page in History

I EANNIE RHOADS ALMOST SCREWED UP HER

chance to be the Republican National Conven- tion's chief page — twice.

'I almost had my name pulled I do believe in smaller govern- ment and individual responsibili- ty," she says.

As chief page. Rhoads coordi- nated the movement of 250 pages at the convention. She also served as a youth ambassador at the convention's Young Voters' Program, which was designed to educate 16- to 24-ycar-olds

C interviewers about political issues. ^k asked het if "That's where my heart was," A she was a she says. ^^ Republican. A youth convention spon- I / "1 told sored by the program was held L/ them that, the last day of the national con-

honestlv. I don't vention. Complete with bands,

from the pile," says Rhoads, a senior at Point Loma Nazarene College, Calif. She had already accepted a paid internship with CBS to cover the convention but later decided to turn it down.

Then Rhoads went to the final interview and thought she really

blew it when the interviewers

asked her if she was a Republican.

"1 told them that,

honestly, I don't agree with everything

on the party platform." Although Rhoads goes along

with the basic premise of the party, she feels Republicans need to pay more attention to the environment and considet more gun control.

"I'm not Alex P. Kcaton. but

I jumt got

celebrities and political figures, it commemorated the 25th anniver- sary of the 26th Amendment — passed during the Vietnam War — which gave 18-year-olds the right to vote.

"You had teens going off to fight, but they couldn't vote," Rhoads says. "It's so important to start young and be concerned."

Serving as chief page kept Rhoads busy. Between inter- views with CNN, MTV and The New York Times, canceling an appearance on Good Morning America and carrying out her duties, Rhoads ncvet had a moment to herself.

"I wouldn't think about eat- ing. Sometimes I worked from 7 a.m. to 4 a.m. Basically, it was the best and worst time of my life."

By BrantJohmon. U. of CMitomtt. San Diego / Photo by Hark Patterson, UCSO

• American College Tatting (ACT) reports that the percentage of students who drop out after their first year hat reached a new high. WHh a 26.9 percent freshman dropout rate, one In every four freshmen wM not return sophomore year. Addition- ally, the number of students who graduate within five years has reached an all- time low of 53.3 percent.

• The typical student borrower accumulates more than $10,000 in education debt, according to an analysis by USA Group Loan Service*, on* of the nation's largest student-loan administrators.

• A recent survey of collage women shows that big bucks aren't a top priority when choosing the men they want to date or marry. Wealth ranked behind qualities Hke honesty, good looks and having time for family life. The survey was conducted by researcher Michael Cunningham from the U. of Louisville, Ky

November 1996 • U. Magazine 9

Term Papers Suck OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE WHEN FIRST WE PRACTICE

to deceive. Kenneth Sahr, a sophomore at Florida Interna- tional U., can relate. His "schoolsucks" site

(http://www.schoolsucks.com) has stirred up enough controversy to keep the hits coming for months. And although his intention isn't to deceive professors, the site — which includes a massive file of research papers waiting to be downloaded — walks a fine line.

The site received national attention over tism It's immoral, period," he says. the summer — all because Sahr forgot that students are away from campus during the summer. That proved to be his most fortu- nate error.

In soliciting papers to start the site, Sahr contacted his natural allies — fraternities, which are known for having exam and research paper files. But because it was sum- mer, fraternity advisers received the mes- sages, and plagiarism alarm bells went off. Since then, Sahr has been bombarded by the media — better advertisement than a full- page ad in The New York Times, he says.

"(Professors') fear of what could happen and their lack of trust in their students gave me free publicity. I absolutely thank them for that."

Sahr gets hundreds of messages daily from professors criticizing the site and claiming it encourages plagiarism. Another site (http://mis- souri.edu/- rhctnet/school- sucks/) was set up to pro- vide a forum for debate about "schoolsucks." But Sahr argues that plagiarism shouldn't be a concern. He calls the site just another academic library.

"I'm against plagia-

Sahr reasons that there are already orga- nizations advertised in magazines like Rolling Stone that allow you to buy term papers. He says "schoolsucks" — which both professors and students can access — will actually put those organizations out of business, thereby curtailing plagiarism.

If students turn in papers from "schoolsucks," they should be kicked out of school for stupidity as well as for plagia- rism, Sahr says.

As for the site's name and motto — Download Your Workload — Sahr says it's just hype.

"if [school) sucked, none of us would be there in the first place."

By Karin DnMmn, BuctofKU, Pi.

SCHOOL SUCKS

Download your Workload!

The> CTog Pwoje //■iw*m.Ml.inWtli|iW/1««ii

om no (tar 7www.ste»s#twerkStOSS»/tfcei ll*t—rlrtlH.I«Ml

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Bits & Bytes

**ho trwotod to tht

Olympic Ordeal

I to be an Olympic drawn tunwd out tobti bus- lot* of I 3,0001 Games InJ

Atlanta-besed Creative Trawl Set vices hired high school and college students to work concession stands In exchange tor a bus ticket, housing and $5 per hour. Whan workers arrived from as tar as CaHtomia and Hawaii, may discovered no housing, no fobs and no explanation. Organiz- ers bused the stranded students to a local warehouse.

Brittany Marshall, a hintor at Florida State U., passed on a summer )ob as a lifeguard to go to Atlanta. She spent two nights there — the first with 200 people, the second wflh 3,000.

"when we flrat arrived, we went over 20 hours without eattng. When we Anally ato, we had a sandwich that wasn't good. And nobody could have seconds. It H hadn't been for a local reverend, It wouM have been a total disaster. He wound up paying for 20 rooms — four poopto to • room.

The minister paid for one night at a hotel. The students came up with cash lor a second. MarshaM says some groups had 15 to 20 people In each room. Attitude, she says, was aM that got her through the ordeal.

"We were the onff group who made the best of It we had a good time

TIN (GBI)an el's Office are

HI of Investigation Attorney Genet

the

.Ofttoietesn a reso- lution Is a long way off.

"There's no ttnwHne tor this inves- tigation. Everywhere we took, there s

at," says John Bankheed, i son tor Gil.

Investigators say Creative Travel Services moved Its business out of town. The buslwui phone Is listed In Atlanta, but a racordhn says the

John Teen should help by In wWt a Rttte commentary o

e> fa/ Ut, Pace U..H.Y.

lO U. Magazine • November 199«S

WE CAN MAKE YOUR STUDENT LOAN DISAPPEAR. It's not magic, it's the Army and Army Reserve's

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Easy Money IT MAY SEEM LIKE LOT-

tery players arc just throwing their money

away, but if you're in col- lege, they might actually be throwing money at you.

Thirty-seven states operate lot- teries, and several earmark a per- centage of lottery money for higher education.

For some Georgia high school students, the lottery is their only HOPE of going to college. Since 1993. about 200,000 students have cashed in on Georgia's HOPE (Helping Outstanding Students Educationally) scholats program, which allows any Georgia high schooler with a 3.0 to go to any col- lege in Georgia — public or private — for free. The program, funded by the Georgia Lottery for Education, gives students a renewable scholar- ship, including full tuition, tees and a book stipend.

One-third of the Georgia lot- tery, which earns around $550 million annually, is reserved to

fund HOPE scholarships. This fall, 97 percent of the entering in- state itudentf at the U. of Geor- gia are HOPE scholars, as are 98 percent of in-state freshmen at Georgia Tech.

Governor Zell Miller, a former college professor, created the HOPE program to help students in the same predicament he faced as a stu- dent. After two years of community college, Miller ran out of funds to continue his education and joined the Marines. The G.I. Bill allowed him to get his degree later.

"I recently met a nurse in DeKalb. She makes $28,000 and has three kids in college. All of them are HOPE scholars," Miller says. Without help, she couldn't have sent one, he says.

Other states with lotteries reserve between 30 and 38 per- cent of lottery profits for educa- tion. California's lottery, designed solely to benefit educa- tion, gives 34 percent of sales to schools. Of the $8 billion gener- ated since 1985. the state's com- munity college system received 12.57 percent; the California State U. system, 4.22 percent; and the U. of California system, 2.42 percent. The lottery's offi- cial Web site (http://www.calot- tery.com) lets students pinpoint exactly how much money was given to their school.

Florida had been in a three-year revenue drop when the lot- tery was established

in 1988. According to Rebecca Negron, a repre-

sentative in the Florida state lottery office, ticket sales now average $800 million. In 1995-96, the

lottery raked in more than $124 million for

higher education. Q £ When it comes to

the lottery, looks like you Jon V have

to play to win.

By Magan Chrts- tentan, Moorhaad

StataU, MkmJ Illustration by Jo9tph Wot,

Carkm CoUaoa, Pa.

Live-in IRDS DO IT, BEES

do it, even edu- cated fleas —

um, college students, actu- ally — do it. But unlike the song, these young cou- ples aren't just falling in love. They're taking the next step: cohabitation.

The "C" word for young couples in the '90s is that twilight zone between single and married life — a fifth dimension, where dating and sex mingle with houscclcaning and phone bills.

"It's a test drive to marriage," says two-time cohabiter Michael Hailstone, a sociology grad student at the U. of Hawaii. "Do I really want to buy this model?"

For years, sociologists have argued whether cohabiting will pre- pare a couple for a blissful marriage or lead them down the highway to relationship hell. But one thing is certain: Move in with people, and you'll get to know the real, uncen- sored, unrestrained ihem.

"He's much messier than I thought," says Erin Weston, a U. of Houston grad student, of her live-in mate.

When the happy couple moved in together, both cited financial convenience as one of the biggest reasons. But Roland H. Johnson III, a Blinn College, Texas, sociology instructor, says the sexes usually cohabit for different reasons.

"Most females really believe they are going to marry the guy," he says. "But young men say their No. 1 rea- son for cohabitation is readily avail- able sex."

Johnson says couples can also face problems with division of labor, finances and parental disapproval — the fear of which can cause the whole relationship to become a lie.

"I don't really want my dad to know," says a California State U., Fresno, junior, who wishes to remain anonymous. "He just thinks my boyfriend comes over a lot."

The psychology major admits that living together without the safety net of a commitment can be difficult, but she hopes cohabita- tion will lead to something more permanent.

"I don't know if we'll get mar- ried," she says. "You can't say you will or you'll jinx it. But I hope so."

By Lisa M. Chmloia, U. of Houston

Shackin'

Thinking about popping the not-qurte- •o-btg question? Wed, here are some ficti you should know about ehackJn' up betoreyouaJgn6ntothele.se.

• About IS percent of people In their early 20* have lived with a partner

• The average cohabitation lasts lets than one year.

• The number of young cohabiting cou- ples has risen from 500,000 in 1970 to 3.6 mHMon today.

• Although studies vary widely, cohab- iting before marriage generally does- n't affect marital satisfaction or divorce rataa.

• There is a higher level of domestic violence In ongoing Mfiabfttng rela- tionships than In ongoing marriages.

• Most housework Is done by the woman In both cohabiting relation- ships and marriage.

Sources: U.S. Census Bureau; Kristin A. Moon, Ph.D., Child Tmndt Inc.; YHo, K. and Straus, AM., Family Relations; Stafford, R., Journal of Mar- riage and the Family, Cole, C, Cohabi- tation in Social Context,' Mswcomb, *f., and BanOar, P., Journal of Personality

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12 U. Magazine • November 1996

V

The jury's still out on

college judicial

BY BRETT VERMILYEA MANKATO SIATI U.. MINN.,

AND AMY HELMES ASSISTANT Enroll

ILLUSTRATION BY JOSH WILKLS,

MURRAY STATE U.. KY.

IMAGINE CLOSED JUDICIAL

proceedings, operating in complete secrecy, in which the accused has no right to counsel, wit-

nesses or appeal. Picture a rape victim who has no right to attend her case's hearing or to warn others of her attacker's identity or punishment — no rights except those the court chooses to grant, which in many instances are few.

Such proceedings couldn't operate in the United States, right? Wrong. In fact, closed judicial proceedings with confidential records operate on college campuses across the country.

A private matter In 1974, Congress passed (he

Family Educational Rights and Pri- vacy Act. One part of this legisla- tion, known as the Buckley Amendment, prohibits schools from releasing a student's records — except to other schools or administrators — without that stu- dent's consent. Such records are grades, classes, counseling and dis- ciplinary records.

Most campuses also conduct confidential disciplinary proceed- ings, saying that Buckley protects campus records and must therefore protect the proceedings that create those records.

The closed disciplinary records — which include any sanctions against a student, from underage

drinking to sexual assault — are under attack by students and administrators who question the law's fairness.

The Campus Courts Task Force (CCTF), a national journalism organization, opposes the Buckley Amendment.

"Despite its best intentions, the judicial hearing environment is ripe for abuse when there is nobody from the public to witness it func- tioning," says Gordon McKerral, president of CCTF.

Carolyn Carlson, founder of the CCTF, has testi- fied before Con- gress in support of the Open Campus Security Log Act, which would require campuses to main- rain daily crime logs and keep them open for public inspection.

"If these courts were public, then students could see for them- selves that everybody gets treared fairly — that they're not being treat- ed differently because of what fraternity they happen to be in or what race they are or what sex they are or anything," Carl- son says.

Bill Kibler. a past president of the Association for Student Judicial Affairs, disagrees, saying that open hearings may cause judicial boards to cater to public- opinion and render unjust decisions.

"I'm not convinced that if you opened the doors and shined the light of the media, things would change dramatically." Kibler says.

The ambiguity of campus judi- cial boards adds to the confusion. Because they aren't legal entities, judicial boards aren't required to provide students with the rights afforded by due process, and schools can take only minimal action, like suspension or disciplinary proba- tion, against the students.

"One of the reasons the (cam- pus] court doesn't have standards as high as a court does is because it doesn't have the authority that a real court does," Kibler says. "The most

authority it has is to kick someone out of school."

Crime and punishment

Max Fraad-Wolff knows the campus court process firsthand. As a junior at Vassar College in 1994, he was accused of leaving a harassing message on another student's answering machine.

>i*»

"Any judicial system that

works this wan is a disaster.

MAX FRAAD-WOLFF,

GRAD STUDENT, U. OF

MASSACHUSETTS, AMHERST

"Once I was accused, it was over," says Fraad-Wolff, who com- pared his experience to the Salem witch trials or the McCarthy Red Scare. "[Administrators] were able to turn me into something that made the Antichrist look like a choir boy."

He says (he college judicial board denied him the presence of his lawyer or parents. He wasn't allowed to show evidence that his accuser first blamed someone else but then withdrew the complaint. The board also refused to allow a voice analysis of (he (ape, and (he school confiscated his personal notes from (he six-hour hearing.

Fraad-Wolff was evenrually found neither innocent nor guilty.

"I was basically sentenced to a limbo," says Wolff,

now a grad student at the U. of Massachusetts, Amherst. "Any judicial system that works this way is a disaster."

Conflict of interest

In 199ST Christy Brzonkala accused two Virginia Tech football players of raping her. She did nor "press criminal charges but, at the advice of her parents and friends, decid- ed to let the campus judicial system handle the case.

Virginia Tech's judicial

board suspended one of the two

defendants, finding him guilty of sexual mis-

conduct. Four months later, after an appeal and another seven-

hour hearing, his violation was down- graded to probation and a one-hour educational session before he was allowed back on the football team. - "It was the most agonizing seven hours of my life," Brzonkala says. "1 was shafted. I didn't have any clue what was going on."

Brzonkala, now a student at George Mason U. in Virginia, filed a civil suit against Virginia Tech as well as the two football players. The suit was dismissed and is now in the process of being appealed.

Eileen Wagner, Brzonkala's lawyer, says Virginia Tech was sim- ply trying to cover itself and the mil- lions of dollars in revenue tli.it (he school ge(s from (he foo(ball (cam.

"When you pu( (he univc(si(y into (he role of advocate for (he vic- tim, .ulvoi .lie for (he accused, inves- tigator, judge and jury, you're just opening yourself up for a conflict of

interests," Wagner says. "They turned (he rules into a pretzel in order ro restore eligibility of a srar football player."

Wagner says when schools (alee the law into their own hands, (hey are only concerned with serving (hem- selves and that (hey use the secrecy of rhe Buckley Amendmem ro protect their own reputations rather (ban (o prorecr students' privacy.

"It was really a kangaroo court," Wagner says of the school judicial board. "They absolu(ely mauled Chrisry in (he process. I('s absolute- ly horrifying what went on."

The wrdlot As a resuh of a 1993 Georgia

Supreme Court decision, rhe U. of Georgia is one of rhe few schools whose student judicial hearings arc open to public scruriny. The school's srudent newspaper, The Red and Black, sued rhe school, arguing that Buckley only covers records, not proceedings. The courts ruled in favor of the school newspaper.

The U. of Georgia decision has paved the way for others in the fight to bring judicial boards and campus crime under public scruti- ny. The student newspapers at the U. of Miami, Ohio, and at the U. of North Carolina are both involved in litigation against their schools for more access to campus judicial records and campus court hearings.

The federal government is get- ting in on the act, too. In Septem- ber, the House of Representatives passed a resolution urging the Department of Education to enforce rhe (imcly reporting of campus crime.

Since rhe Georgia Supreme Court decision, the Department of Education has maintained that Buckley does not cover judicial proceedings. As a result, campus court proceedings cannot be closed in the name of Buckley, as most colleges claim.

"If you're a srudent at a campus, and you march up to a hearing and you say, 'I want to be allowed to sit in on this hearing,' and that judicial officer says, 'No, we can't let you be in here because the Buckley Amendment prevents it,' they're not telling you the truth," McKer- ral says. "It's wrong."

The dynamic duo ofBrelt Vermityea and Amy Helmet are the college equivalent of Sam Donaldson and Diane Sawyer. (But Brett hat better hair than Sam.)

November 1996 • U. Magazine 13

I

Disaster Students relive their

dates from hell

'J. and,

*-r

' <

BY JAMES HIBBERD ASSISTANT BonoD

ILLUSTRATIONS BY IIMHH K HOLLAND, SOHOOI OH COMMUNICATION ARTS, MINN.

HERE AT U. MAGAZINE, WE FEEL YOUR DATING PAIN.

As connoisseurs of broken relationships, nightmare stalkers an< of course, dates from hell, we have deep empathy for those who bravely undertake the masochistic societal ritual commonly known as "dating." j" In an effort to ease your

agonizing memories (and to prepare you for Jk Friday nights to come), we ^^po^^ m scoured the country — from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon — for bad date stories. After several weeks of intense research broken only by the occasional beer run, we have com- piled the ultimate collection of dates from hell: We've got blind dates, sleazy dates, cheap dates, nerd dates, lecherous dates and, yes, even dates with facial tics, "f" We just want you to know: It's not your fault. You're not alone.

14 U. Magazine • November 1996

Mind Oames A dale's bedroom — potentially the site of

a passionate encounter or a best-avoided sand trap. For Michelle Madc-r, a senior at North- ern Kentucky U., it was the latter, only golf wasn't the game she needed to play to escape.

Hadcr's date had a bedroom about the size of a Toyota, and once she entered, he locked the door behind them. He kept the key on a chain around his neck.

"I began looking for escape routes, since I was locked in," Hadcr says. "There was only one small circular window at the top of his room. I was stuck."

Her date turned on the TV, but not the lights. They were watching The X-FiUs when the TV suddenly snapped off. Hader's date said the TV sometimes went off on its own and there was nothing he could do about it. Hmm, wonder what they could do now?

" We could listen to the radio," he suggested. "Or we could play a game. Or we could KISS?"

Hader realized she had no choice. Sometimes you have 10 make the tough choices 10 sur- vive. For the next two hours, Hader allowed her date to use her for a passionate game of backgammon.

After the last roll of the dice, Hader blasted out of her date's driveway so fast, she rammed into a passing car. An accident? Who cares? Hader kept on driving.

Visually Challenged Date One student discovered that the only thing

worse than a blind date is a blind date with twitchy eyes.

Kristie, a grad student at West Chester U., Pa., found herself dining with her blind date at Chez Taco Bell. Needless to say, Kristie felt a little overdressed while sampling the burrito du jour. Even worse, her unsuit- able suitor was a nervous wreck whose eyes were twitching constantly.

"So we sat there mostly silent." Kristie says. Until Kristie got an uncontrollable case of

the giggles. "Every time his eye twitched, I couldn't

help myself," she says. "I had this idea that he was trying to make a move on me by blinking."

In true giggle attack form, the more Kristie tried to stop herself, the harder she laughed.

"Once I finally managed to stop laughing for a moment. I took a big drink of soda," Kristie says. "And before I could swallow, he winked again."

Kristie spewed the soda all over herself, the table and Rico Suave.

"We were both covered in Diet Coke, but I was the only one laughing."

Amazingly enough, Blinky didn't ask her out again.

Hot Data Nick Anderson, a junior at U. of Nevada,

Las Vegas, insists he was the victim on a bad double date experience to the county fair.

"To stan things off, it took about 30 min- utes to find a parking place, and 1 had two

women in the back seat bitching at me to hurry up because their favorite singer was per- forming," he says, not at all bitter. "My blood started to boil, and I calmly said, 'Well, you could help mc look."

The happy foursome went on to roam the fairgrounds, and Anderson was disappointed to find his girlfriend giving him the cold shoulder. After, they stopped at a Denny's- type restaurant.

"To lighten things up. I played a joke on her by pouring Tabasco sauce in the catsup for her fries," he says.

But his girlfriend suspected something was amiss.

"So I said, 'What, you don't trust me?'" Taking a leap of faith, his girlfriend dipped

a fry and ate it. "Her face got so red, but only mc and my

friend were laughing," Anderson says'. "Then I got to hear 20 minutes of bitching on trust."

Amazingly, the cou- ple broke up short-

ly afterward. 'Romance is dead!" he says. By the

way, Ander- son's name on

his e-mail address is "Don Juan."

Legends of the Fall

Sherri Eisenberg, James Madison U., V.i.. fell for her date

from hell — about three stories.

It was Eiscnberg's first time out with her new love interest, and they decided to go to a movie. Next to the theater was a construction site. John Ritter couldn't have set the stage better.

"After the movie, we walked out. and I fell down this three-story hole they had cut into the ground," says Eisenberg. "I wasn't hurl — just a few cuts and scrapes — but I had a huge split in the front of my pants."

Well, talk about a n/>-nwrin; good ti— sorry.

Stopl Or My Dad Will Freak!

"My worst date wasn't really the girl's fault," says Mike Garcia, a freshman at Cali- fornia Polytechnic State U.. San Luis Obispo. "But at the time, it was really scary."

Garcia says he had a great time on his date, but when he dropped her off at home, the horror began.

"Her dad met us at the door and in a stern voice told me to meet him in the car and told her to get in bed," Garcia says.

Dad marched Garcia out to the family wagon. For the next two hours, Dad drove him around town — past the swamp, past the graveyard, over the river bridge.

"He kept asking what 1 planned to do with his daughter," Garcia says. "1 was scared shit- less. 1 had no idea whether he was going to beat me up or yell at me or what."

Sharp! There was this very dorky guy who had

been wanting to take me out," says Tara Tuckwillcr, a senior at Virginia Tech. "I even- tually agreed to go bowling at the student union — very casual."

Bui her budding bowling beau had other ideas. When Tuckwiller opened her front door, she found her socially challenged date dressed in a full suit with a bouquet of roses in hand. Tuckwiller was wearing a T-shirt and shorts.

"Needless to say, when he dropped me off afterward, I kinda bolted," she says.

True to geek form, Tuckwiller's date from hell sent her a thank-you card.

Obligatory Dumb Sorority Oirl Story

"I've always thought blind dates are best left to blind people," says Steve Willey, senior, U. of Nebras- ka, Lincoln. "Because I'm an idiot, I accepted."

But Willey was pleasantly surprised to find his date, a sorority girl named Lori, was quite attractive.

"Unfortunately, her wonderful looks sucked every available chromo- some from her gene pool, because there were none left for such things as intelligence or the ability to hold in a burp," he says.

In the car, Lori showed off her "got your nose" trick. Once at the movie, Lori bombarded Willey with questions about the complex metaphorical motifs in Babe. After, they went to a Greek hangout, where Willey quickly discovered the patron's conversation was, well, Greek to him.

"Having only my beers to talk to, the night ended with me getting so drunk I fell off the barstool."

A week later, Willey's friend asked Lori what she thought of their night together.

"She said I was a poor excuse for a human being."

Obligatory Dumb Frat Ouy Story

Not wanting to perpetuate baseless myths and stereotypes (that sorority girls are dumb, for instance) here's evi- dence that Greek guys can be just as stupid

"My best friend set me up with her boyfriend's fraternity brother," says Michelc Kratochvil, a senior at the U. of Nebraska, Lin- coln. "What a mistake."

First, Kratochvil's date arrived bearing, not roses, but a corsage ... to go on a hay ride. But frat boy's sense of appropriateness didn't stop at the florist.

Says Kratochvil: "The fashion police obviously missed him. He was wearing his yellow Big Bird T- shirt and a pair of plaid boxers."

After a strictly literal roll in the hay, Kratochvil was stuck with Don Juan in the middle of a field.

"We had absolutely nothing in common, except that our mutual friends were making out next to us," she says.

Still, Kratochvil's fraternity date tried his best to make conversation.

"The guy insisted on telling me about his gerbils."

Dancing With Myssolf Alex Outhred, a senior at the U. of Michigan,

not only had a date from hell early in life, but his experience was set to '80s music.

"I was in sixth grade, and I was at my first big dance," he says.

Alex was fortunate enough to have a job as a Ford Model kid, and there were lots of pre-teen knockouts at the Ford kids Christmas party.

"I was dancing by myself. Lots of parents were there, including mine. This girl was in the eighth grade. She was pretty hot and actually asked me to dance. I hadn't danced with a girl before — and she asked nu>"

Her name wasn't Rio — it was Heather — but that didn't matter to Outhred. He was just stoked to be doing hit bitchin' Springsteen "Dancing in the Dark" moves with an older babe.

HE SAID: "She was like a walking

goddess tome. But I had never envisioned

a drunk, obscene goddess."

JAMES WATSON, SENIOR,

U. OF WEST FLORIDA

Then he heard it: the sound of his parents talk- ing. Before he could throw up any defenses — like, maybe a sound-proof wall — mom belted out, "Oh, my little baby's having his first dance!"

"Heather heard it, 1 heard it, everybody heard it," Outhred says. "So I looked at this girl with the 'it doesn't matter that she just completely embar- rassed me, does it?' look with wide-open eyes.*

But his Madonna wannabe stopped dancing, let out a loud huff of air, shook her head and walked away.

Outhred ended up dancing with his mom.

SHE SAID: u

telling me about bisgerbils."

MICHELE KRATOCHVIL, SENIOR, U. OF NEBRASKA, LINCOLN

of Homecoming High school senior year Homecoming — fertile

breeding ground for a date from hell. And James Watson, a U. of West Florida senior, found he not only couldn't go home again, he wouldn't want to.

"Her name was Danielle. She had a great tan, long, dark blond hair, blue eyes, a body by Fisher and was very popular," Watson says.

But looks — even built by Fisher — can be deceiving.

"She was like a walking goddess to me. But I had never envisioned a drunk, obscene goddess."

Watson brought roses, rented a convert- ible Mercedes and had reservations at a posh hillside resort. But after dinner, Danielle got very intoxicated.

"She started nasty dancing with everybody," Watson says. "Watching her falling all over well-dressed couples, I tried to go to her aid. But

she started screaming, calling me all kinds of obscenities. A perfect spectacle."

Danielle ditched Watson, and after spending several hours alone in the expensive hotel

room, he went searching for her. ^_r Other classmates who were also stay-

ing at the rc-s<>rt told Watson she had gone to a party in another room. The

party was thrown by two classmates Watson considered mortal enemies.

"I went in the room, and I found her laying in between the two guys, butt-naked, smoking and

totally unashamed," he says. But this date from hell has an epilogue. Watson

saw his drunken beauty queen last summer for the first time in 10 years.

"She is 100 pounds overweight and waiting tables at Denny's," he says. "I thought, 'Wow, she did me a favor that night."

Additional reporting by Associate Editor Colleen Rush and Assistant Editors Carrie Bell, Melissa Grego and Amy Helmes.

James Hibberd is in a ling-distance reUtitnship and wouldn i know a date if it bit him on the butt.

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November 1996 • U. Maga/ii 15

Some colleges come out in support of gay students

BY MAROLVN KRASNER HUMBOLDT STATE U.. CAUF.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHAD MANSFIFLI), COLORADO STATE U.

Am i IONAI KFPORIING »y CARRIE BELL. ASSISTANT EDITOR i .

OULD AN NFL HOPEFUL GO TO A COLLEGE WITH no football team? Would someone who wanted Greek letters on his resume" go to a school with- out a fraternity row? Would a prospective biolo- gist apply to universities without long lab hours

or good research opportunities? So why would a gay, lesbian or bisexual coed not look

for gay-friendly academia when cruising for a campus? Per- haps a tougher question is: What makes a college a positive environment for someone who is a member of one of the most under-represented minorities?

David Buckel. a Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund attor- ney, wishes he lud an easy answer.

"Students really benefit from a gay-friendly letting in which they don't worry about their physical safety and emotional well-being." says Buckel, whose organization protects gays' legal and civil rights. "It allows them to focus on getting the education they went for in the first place."

Starting point Resources are slim for Knding

schools that are straight, but not narrow. The best strategy is to go directly to the source — stu- dents, alumni, faculty and activist groups. Expert guides tend to ignore the subject, but Jan-Mitchell Sherrill, assistant dean of students at George

Washington U.. Washington, D.C.. took the subject head-on. The Gay. Lesbian and Bisexual Students' Guide to Colleges, Universities and Gradu- ate Schools (NYU Press) rates schools on a scale from gay friendly to absolutely intolerable using the real experts — students.

Sherrill and co-author Craig Hardesry distributed surveys to gay,

lesbian and bisexual student organizations at

1,100 U.S. col- leges. Schools earned points for gay stu- dent organi- zations, sup- p o r t i v e

policies, gay-friendly curricula and resources such as medical services and counseling. Oberlin College. Ohio, Reed College, Ore., and Johns Hopkins U. are some of the schools that earned high marks from those surveyed. They said pass on Dartmouth College. N.H.. U. of Colorado and Boston U.

Under the rainbow flag

Unfortunately, ranking universi- ties isn't all that simple. And even universities that want to go the extra mile for gays have trouble measur- ing up. Criteria seem to vary from student to student.

Sean M. Burke, a grad student at Northwestern U. in Illinois, says a university's general attitude toward gay students often mirrors the atti- tude of its surrounding community.

"If a school is upbeat and progres- sive, expect it to be accommodating of gay folks. If a school has a strong activist streak, you can expect the gay community there to be very active."

For senior Will Kilfoyle, a gay community — or lack thereof — at rural Humboldt State U., Calif, was a major factor in his decision to transfer to California State U., Sacra- mento. "There [Humboldt|, I was made more aware of it. You feel that strangeness a little more sharply."

The presence of large gay com- munities in nearby San Francisco and Sacramento helps gay students know they aren't alone, Kilfoyle says. "If I feel like it, I can now drive a short distance and be in a gay community," he says.

According to Kilfoyle, the smaller university and rural setting of Humboldt State offered less variety. Burke also suggests avoid- ing schools in remote areas. "You'll

come to know every gay, les- bian and bisexual person

there in no time at all, sun ply because there won't be very many."

Schools with a religious adminis- tration may be a problem also. Burke says. "Brigham Young U. is a Mormon school. You are certifiably insane if you are gay and want to go there."

Burke also suggests checking what the school's administrative policies toward gays arc like. "Ask faculty, recruiters, alumni and stu- dents. If they're uncomfortable answering questions like, 'Does this school have a domestic partnership policy for gay, lesbian and bisexual students?' that's a bad sign."

The choice is yours Joncil Adriano, a graduate of

Columbia U., warns that other ele- ments may be more important to consider when deciding on a college.

"As far as I was concerned, it didn't matter [if Columbia was gay friendly] because I was so close to Greenwich Village. First and fore- most, I was concerned that I was going to the best school possible, followed closely by how big and accessible the nearest gay, lesbian and bisexual community was."

But the issue of gay-friendliness did cross her mind. She says that despite the number of resources on campus for gay students, the school itself is trailing behind the trend.

"(Columbia) is a fairly late entry into the group of gay-friendly educational institutions. Only this year did it implement a domestic- partnership policy for queer staffers," Adriano says. "The devel- opment of a queer studies curricu- lum has been stagnant, although recent hirings allowed for more queer-oriented courses."

F o r most,

being gay isn't the

most impor- tant factor to

consider when choosing colleges,

but students say it can make for a

smoother ride on the road to the real world.

Kilfoyle says an accept- ing school atmosphere allows

you to be yourself. "I want to feel a sense of ease when I hold hands with somebody. It should

be no different than heterosexuals showing affection."

In many cases, colleges are paving the way to a future where rainbow flags whip in the wind along with the stars and stripes and the admission policy reads, "Come as you are."

Marolyn Love Kramer accepts others fir who they are because her hidden past includes a commune and the Guru Prem.

SowTSTthe™ bad news...

AlttKHioh the fuiura seems bright lor an and to homophobia ki higher education, there are still incWants that matte It sawn like we're stuck in tha Dark Ago*. Here's a email sample:

• Aug. '96: Students and alumni at Washington State U. protested when the school's mascot appeared In a gay- pride parade.

• July '98: A gay student at Perm State U. was verbally harassed and Punched Into unconsciousness.

• July '96: A U. of Miami football player was arrested for assault of the captain of the track team, who was allegedly spreading rumors that the football player was gay.

• Summer '96: The u. of Maryland Board of Regents voted against faculty domestic-partner benefits for gay and unmarried couples.

• Feb. '96: Boston College adminis- trators called a gay-student group's drag show "offensive to the tradition of Boston College."

• Republicans at Pennsylvania's Bucknell U. wore khakis to demonstrate "true family values" on tha same day students who support gay rights are asked to wear denim.

• '95: Central Michigan U. Horary books on gay leeues were thrown Into a toilet It was the second Incident within

16 U. Maga/inc • November 1996

Doodles for Dollars ATTENTION DOODLERS,

graffiti artists and Gary Larson wannabes: Dig

up your caricature of Mrs. Wig- glethorpe from third grade — it could be your first step on the road to becoming a rich and famous cartoonist.

Just ask IVnn Slate U. senior Gerard Ar.in towicz. He's one of many cartoonists whose work went from student rags to international mags. His cartoon, "The Truth Hurts," appears in Penn State's Daily Collegian. He's also published a coloring book and education- al books in Korea.

"I started out as a little kid with a crayon," Arantowicz says.

But it takes more than crayons to make it in this business, he adds. Successful car- toonists are part Garry Trudeau and part Merrill Lynch.

"It's very tough," admits Nick Gorish, a student at Moraine Valley Community College. III.

Gorish and his cousin Steve Tenebrini, a student at the U. of Minnesota, self-publish Oblivion, a book of black-and-white comics that's distributed in Chicago and Minnesota.

Self-publishing and student publications

can be great launching pads, but the serious cash comes from syndication — that's when a lucky artist gets published in multiple papers and gets multiple bucks from each paper the comic strip runs in. Cha-ching!

Ed Taylor, a former U. of Iowa student, stayed on as cartoonist for the Daily lowan after he stopped taking classes to raise a fami- ly. In July, King Features Syndicate, the big kahuna of cartoon and comic strip syndica- tion, paid J50 apiece for two of his cartoons.

Bur syndicate corporations have an advan- tage over aspiring cartoonists, "They're the only game in town," Taylor says.

A dwindling 250 full-time editorial car- toonists get work in the United States, and only about two good staff jobs open up annu- ally. Winning big in the drawing game seems so difficult that many wonder why artists even try — especially in college.

"I started to self-syndicate for the simple rea- son that I was tired of being a starving artist," says Alan Gardner, a junior at Utah State U.

Gardner sells his strip, "Butros," a regular feature of the Utah Statesman, to three other college newspapers across the nation. He also does editorial cartoons for the city newspaper.

"The campus newspaper is the major source of income. It's not a lot, but it pays the rent. The free-lance for the city paper — that keeps my refrigerator full," says Gardner.

So how's life as a sketching star? "People think we just sit around and doo-

dle all day. which isn't true," Gardner says. "We doodle all day with deadline."

By Stephen Watson, Stati University ot New York, Butlato^en-portrart by Alan Gardner, Utah State U.

«wn, Iowa- AlMfeMdhMt

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November 1996 • U. Magazine 17

BY JAMES HIBBERD

f

Bupmrmmn Curt

rs a bird, n's a piano, ri Superman Curt. By day fheyhold regular Jobs and attend (radical school. By ■UMBM quartet InaMbJ Hi e**a brand of justice by

iMtnneapoN*. •wee Hanson, Chris

, Joel Reisa and I "Boogie"

I tie band three ) I their "cool I (."Current!

I a gtM .1 shaped fly ■ travail

. They've also I •walesend vandalized M Jet* records. Ml Jeldng aside, Suaar-

lert-tMled debut has I comparisons to ttw

■.Violent I Jonathan

. Superman have eMta* •attar-heavy, l,ik. shapes, garage sound

it* love. •Is* warmer! over

•ptrlled music,"

The others set sights on Bjajarleons. "The

Hot compamont is to be caiinjarsd to Joel [Boies]. He aateafltha chicks,"

Curt hope

an out-of-town gig. Mean- white, they'll keep using 3M products, peppering con- versation wHh "you

For Into or CDs, cad (Bm)t3S-OJHL

Carrit Bed, Aaeittarrt

Various Artists

IMAGINE YOURSELF A CHARLIE Parker? Or perhaps a Miles Davis?

Well here's your chance to prove to the world just how hard you blow. The Mushroom Jazz double-CD set contains one disc of continuous trip- hop jazz grooves and one CD-ROM for mixing your own tracks.

On the music disc, Chicago DJ Mark Farina takes 11 electric jazz pieces by various artists and remixes ihcm into 45 minutes of seamless, moody lunk. Artists such as J Live, Blue Boy and Groove Nation contribute tracks for Farina's reconstruction.

The CD-ROM puts you in a mixing station, where you can create your own vibes by using the groove lines taken from the audio CD and edit- ing them for your own sound. The station also allows you to add up to three layers of your own recorded samples.

With a $16.99 price tag. Mushroom Jazz is worth the cost as tunes, toy or both.

Chain Kitt

KHtmnm Mercury

"And sometimes it just gets too dramatic," sings vocalist Tyson Mead on Chainsaw Kittens' fourth full-length release.

You can whine that again. From the not-as-rwisted-as-you'd-think Wizard

of Oz homage, "Dorothy's Last Fling," to the six- string scratching on "Speedway Oklahoma," this self-titled disc provides some listenablc alterna-punk for those who can't wait for that new Violent Femmes album.

Although most of the tracks are short (three and a half minutes, max), the 14 songs begin to blend together, and Mead's Morrissey-on-hclium voice begins to grate. Chainsaw Kittens is one of those "Well, if you like that sort of thing..." bands. Some dig 'em, but some like going to the dentist, too. It doesn't make it a recommendable experience.

m Ugly

Americana Stormoprtonlc

Spmnlmh Fry Mercury

After years of impressing inebriated students on the college-club circuit, the Austin, Texas, band proves it can also rock sober ears with its major-label debut. Stereo- phonic Spanish Fty, a collection of the songs rhat consis- tently provoked the most head-nodding and dancing at their shows, showcases the band's talent for providing tight party rock with a lirde something for everyone.

Chameleonic vocalist Bob Schneider leads the cheerful sextet in demonstrating a range of rock styles from grunge ("White is the Wine") to pop ("You Turn Mc On") to funk ("Vulcan Death Grip") to bluesy power ballad ("Find Me") — all while staying rooted in their own Ugly sound.

Lyric-wise, some of Schneider's lines should have been saved for the starry-eyed coeds ("You drive me crazy, when you whisper to me, you know I love you baby"), but most serve adequately, and a few even have a bona-hde star quality to them.

RADIO, RADIO

• Falay.1

to. The Mvakj,

dam band solely on coleaje radio play. Con- tributing radio nations: KFSR, California State U-, Fmnoi KJHK. U. of Kansas: KLAX. U. of Califor- nia, Berkeley; Kl.SU. Louisiana Sate U.; KRC San Diego Start U.; KTEK, New Mexico Institute of Miaing and Technology! KTRU, Riot U.. Texas; KVRX U. of Taut. Austin; KWVA. U. of Oregon; WCBN, U. of Michigan and WNYU, New York U.

nawawaswaasaawawaaaaaaawawas

Get the groove on U.'s music page: http://www.umagazine.com/rocks

Marden Hill Hllack»d Stepping Sume

Morcheeba Who Can You Trumt7

Dluotery

Sex music. Some like Prince, others prefer the ambiance of Sade. Whoever graces your CD during those Taster's Choke nights, chances are they're not British. But two new releases from English bands might change that. Morcheeba and Marden Hill's new releases provide groovy backdrops for those bedroom/fircside/kitchen floor encounters when not just any CD will do.

Morcheeba is a funkadelic trio led by British vocalist Skye Edwards, whose sensual crooning is laid across jazzy riffs. And Hijacked is an acid-jazz disc that'll bring out the soul in even the most stoic of lovers. Hijacked is short on lyrics and heavy on bassy rhythm. Perfect for getting in the mood.

Our Picks !'<1i/! Betllz-

bdBTUV • :«* Sofo

You shall proceed to the next sure-thing,

warttng-to-be-dlscovered urban collec- tive this side of Arrested Development. Evan though they're from chHty Vermont, they've got phat beats, fab vocals and energetic, very likable personalities to make you groove 'til you sweat. If you like Jamiroquai, Brand New Heavies or OajaMa Planets, you'll think PeHzboha has got the funk, too.

Tfiej Mother Hlpe Shootout American

The country-influenced rock and roll songs from this tight little band ooze fun and warmth and provide the perfect backdrop for the classic Ameri- can road trip. Sing along to and smile at the smart, cozy tunes on this third release from a tour-crazed band. They've spent 30 of the past 36 months on the road!

Squlrral Nut appears Hot

Swing la back, and the Squirrel Nut Zippers are leading the resurgence with their reinvented jazz sounds. The six- member band resurrects the ghosts of a 1920s Louisiana speakeasy or a lavish

party at Jay Gataby s. From saxophones, clarinets and the string baas to the banjo, fiddle and baritone ukulele, the Zippers are swanky, never stale.

Varioua AHIata Mooorrt Rock 1000-00: HmnaThmOJ Rhino

We may all live in an alternative nation now, but modern rock's found- ing fathers ware quarantined to the small state of collage radio, fanzines and 120 minutes. These three volumes are a great start at chronicling some of the genre's moat influential bands, like R.E.M., X, NOW Order, the Smiths and Jane's Addiction, as well as some leaaer-knowna like Guadalcanal Diary and Transvlsion Vamp. Evan if you don't recognize the names, you'll

know the words, and a sing-a-iong will ensue.

Various Artlsttw 4lseaaSfl I mgmoy ■na

If we said you could plan a trip to South America's Andes tor only $15, would you behove us? It's no lotto — mis CD is almost as good as being there to hear me traditional musk; of Peru, Chile, Ecuador and Bolivia's mountain villages. This collection of 14 instrumen- tal and spiritual pieces Is bound to make the mortal — and Immortal — dance.

After years of listening to Barry Msnilow, the Beach Boys and Debbie Gibson, assistant editors Amos, Jamie, Mil snd Boll have finally acquired some taste.

=r X

- 18 1'. Magazine • November 1996

BY MELISSA GREGO

LOVE AND MARRIAGE. LOVE AND

marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell ya, brother — you can't have one without the other... unless you see a movie. This month, film's all about family — there's spouse-endorsed adultery, a refusal to pay ransom for one's only son, and a husband's lifelong lies to his wife about his feelings toward Nazis. Bob Dole could have a full-course meal on these meaty Hollywood efforts to define the American family.

Breaking the W« Iklnbrr hllmt

She's damned if she does it and damned if she doesn't. British stage actress Emily Watson plays an impressionable girl from a religious. Scottish town who marries outsider Stellan Slcarsgard (The Hunt for Red October). When an accident paralyzes Skars- g»rd. he convinces Watson to have sex with other men — since the only thing keeping him alive is the memory of making love to her.

Mother Night Fine Line

This adaptation of Kurt Vonncgut's satirical novel intertwines guilt, responsibility, justice and heroism. Nick Nolte stars as an American play- wright/free-lance American spy living in Berlin dur- ing World War II. In order to serve his country, he gets cozy with Nazi heavyweights. In the process, he learns how fleeting trust — of his lover, friends, government and himself— can be.

Michael Collins Warner Brot.

Michael Collins is an immortal Irish hero. When he survived the Easier Uprising, Ireland's revolt against Britain, he injected life into the Irish revolution. Liam Necson (Schiitdler's List) as Collins, A id J n Quinn (Legends of the Fait), Stephen Rea (The Crying Game) and Alan Rickman {Seme and Sensibility) struggle through complicated friend- ships and secret ploys as they change the shape of their nation's future.

Jam Warner Bm.

What's up, Doc? Michael Jordan makes his Him debut as he alley oops Bugs Bunny, new Looney Tune Lola Bunny and other Saturday- morning- with-ccreal fa vo r i t es . They star together in this wise- cracking action-adven- ture. NBA greats — all playing them- selves — join Jordan for a futuristic journey into comedy, state-of-the-art computer effects and three-dimensional animation.

Hunt.i Vina

Mel Gibson (Braveheart) plays a New York tycoon who has it all — a beautiful wife, a thriving multi-million-dollar business and America's cutest son. But when kidnappers snatch his kid, Mr. Mon- eybags refuses to let go of what's his. Horrifying his wife, played by Rene Russo (Tin Cup), he counters the kidnappers' threats rather than paying out. Dodging, diving and chasing ensue.

Unhook the Stars Miramax

A mother's work is never done. Gena Rowlands (Crazy in Love) has time on her hands since her kids moved"1

out, so she's ready when her neigh- bor's 6-year- old needs help. Marisa Tomei ( The Perez Family) is the single mom who leaves her son with Rowlands to take on a double shift. When Tomei's luck changes and the little lad can go home. Rowlands discovers she's done some growing up herself.

The Crucible 20th ( rmuiy Fax

C'mon, if you were sexually repressed and obsessed with married farmers, you'd dance naked in the woods, too. Besides, Winona Ryder focuses her affections on Daniel Day-Lewis — can you blame her? Lies, guilt and the devil arc all conjured up in this classic Salem witch-hunt talc adapted from Arthur Miller's stage play.

Star Trek: First Contact

The story spans 40 books, seven movies, three TV series and more than two decades — but who's count- ing? The Next Genera- tion crew is back for its second out- ing on the big screen. Patrick Stew- art returns as captain of the Enterprise, but this time, the crew battles a huge mass of alienated outcasts who all dress, look and talk alike. No, they're not Trekkics, but the insidious Borg.

Jingle AM The Way 20th (entury Fax

There's an Ah-nuld movie for every season, and this time he's a hard-working businessman with kids — who knew? It's Christmas, and Schwarzenegger must find his kids the coolest gift on the block: Turbo Man. Man, yuletide shop- ping's not as easy as it used to be.

OearQod Paramount

Look out — Hollywood's got Greg Kinncar going postal. He plays a con artist who has lost his inspitation to create dazzling schemes of deception and thievery. So, naturally, he takes a job in the soothing environment of a post office, where he's sent to work with the other cynics in the Dead Letter Office. Here, Kinncar finds hope for his illustrious career when he sets his sights higher than ever.

I'm Not Rappaport (iramrriy

With age comes wisdom... and senility and gout. But Walter Matthau (Grumpier Old Men) and Ossic Davis (who starred in the hit Broadway ver- sion of the film) won't let age cramp their wild Cen- tral Park lifestyles. So they sit on a park bench, toot- ing — their horns, that is — and trying to make sense and fun of the people around them.

Albino Alligator Miramax

One minute the patrons of a small Southern bar are minding thcit own whiskey — the next thing they know, they're being held hostage by the pcrps of a botched robbery. Snipers, camera crews and hostage negotiators complete this cat-and-mouse directorial debut by Oscar-winner Kevin Spacey.

You'll lind everythinq but the Raisinets on W.'s movie paqe http://www iimaqa/inn com

n Saver

riypct! and Mof Bad for a airi

"H people aresk* of the

movie ■• tor them," says Hype.'director Doug Pray.

hypo! chronicles the grunge phenomenon by capturing Nve perfor-

wlth Seattle bands, inckxt- ing little-known local acts and giants like Havana.

"OUT intention from the b6gtnninfl was not to make a grunge-rock concert fHtn," producer Sim Hsfesy says. "tft about wtiat happens when money s suddenly Injected into a culture."

Dr. Lisa ApramJen's *>( Bad for a Orraiso hits theaters In November. Fea- turing female rockers from Hole, L7, Babes to Toyiand and Lunachicks, Hoi Bad shows why some women grow up wanting to be Mick Jegger — not dale hen.

Dr. Lisa (as her patients caM her) produced Not Bad on a mtoiscuie budget — she spent about $15 on Indoor floodlights for the set But she says It's worth a look. "I mean a shrink talking to musicians Is kind of an Interesting concept, don't you think?"

Chock out our tuU- kmgth Interviews with fnese mmmakars on thai) weos/f».Mtp://www unwaaitne.com.

The Reel Deal

OwfrltoaYowodcwataroiiajf^ Sang,lilin iiiins»pii|piiu|iiliae«lerta»o»irt«.tl kt^ptayoeaoc^tsssrtassrteTtotrtocoaa^

Black Orcm Boy tottowi the pWght of Kyle, an Imp. eaaluwaMa aH-Americaw aay who mom to Seattle. Kjto (Sortt Unto, »»* A* 4 ki en)«m im* a moraet of

balances and evil after meeting Shane, leaosf rt tlw Mack r»t« *rys crtt ErfcMabk«<'SM4»eyWarnY4pkfysSt^^

landWckJae^.-seysBrMtucorLyutteyteadm says, "[They're] a bunch of stackers who cant even tto thrtr own ortorteces, much lees worship Satan aroperty."

0*ac*mmm™CtrMmm(iTmmm+m%*n,.*wrm%Mit to'sotoomtoeee in msnd. The reeuNs ware more Itsen efcwmy. btring om right o< i togtaag/aveyero;eoimof1Mcrswworegarfcnack^ who pteye Ha prthettoaky tott Rory, noted, -raja la kauto creepy. Dkjtfna in graves to certainty art the kind of thing I wouM rwniarty eW-Liaoterg, a I »iecarthartoytnBr*nrrtlaaa1nflroto."lwanttrM

I ago la saying, Ttl Ike Pringtes In my room, pteeoe/a* meW They i

ay JamUm Urn**, tt eY

20 U. Maga/ine • November 1996

Metal Heads YOU STUD. YOU HARD, LITTLE

stud. I want to screw you on my head. Yes, I do.

Because I love seeing you there. Wail — we're calking implants here. Scalp

implants, to be exact. You know, detachable metal studs screwed through your scalp into a metal plate implanted under your skin.

"The procedure involves slitting your scalp and shoving a threaded metal plate in there,'' says Crystal, a professional piercer from Primeval Body Piercing Studio in Hollywood.

Ouch. The screw-on studs are also inter- changeable with other attachments, from small beads to 4-inch spikes — essentially turning your noggin into a Gen X Mr. Potato Head.

Could this be the next logical step for modern primitives following tattoos, piercing, branding and implanting beads under the penis skin? The Association of Professional Piercers says no.

"This is illegal surgery," says APP's Michacla Grey. "Body piercers have no busi- ness doing anything but body piercing."

Grey says that injecting anesthetics into the scalp could accidentally anesthetize the brain and cause death. Implants can also result in a fatal brain infection or long-term degen- erative damage to connective tissues.

So far only one soul, Joe Aylward, a piercer's apprentice in Phoenix, has had the procedure. Aylward's piercing mentor per- formed the operation and the duo have defended scalp implants in Newsweek, on talk shows and on TV news broadcasts.

"If they kept it private, that's one thing, but exploiting it the way they are might give people ideas," Crystal says. "Like the kids who don't have any money, so they pierce themselves."

But scalp spikes might only be the tip of the trend. A Jim Rose circus member is having coral horns implanted in his scalp. Other piercers are hearing rumors of spine implants. Will the madness stop before American youth become refugees from a Clivc Barker film?

"I'd be very sorry to see this one person and his bad idea become a trend," Grey says. "He's been very lucky not to have been killed."

So if you think scalp implants sound cool, you better get your head examined.

Photo by LtryLMvmdtr, TMoo Savag*

1996 U. nnouncing the Scholarship Winners

INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT

Nike Andrea Kwon

Yale University

BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION

Fortunato Tapia Woodbury University

MasterCard

ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT

Kenneth Wilkins Rutgers University

SOCIAL SCIENCES

Chevrolet Victor Moreno

UCLA

I

MARKETING

Recy Dunn U of Texas, Austin

COMMUNICATIONS

Warner Bros.

Sheri Smith Loyola Marymount U.

ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT

Farrah Pepper New York U

Canon

FINANCE

General Mot*

Corporation Michele Hwu

Stanford U.

GMAC FINANCIAL SERVICES

I LIBERAL ARTS/HUMANITIES

— Vlbranc< LaNeice Collins

UCBerkeley

VIBRANCC ORGANIC CAK

PRE-MED/BIOLOGY

Reebok" Lisa Sanderson

CaI State U, Long Beach

Raaboh .*>

X

TECHNOLOGY/ COMPUTER SCIENCE

Instrument! Christian Metcalfe

U of Pennsylvania

^?TtXAS INSTRUMENTS

JOURNALISM

U. Magaxln. Kim Cross U. of Alabama

KNlagazine

U. The National College Magazine has awarded $1,000 scholarships to 12 outstanding undergraduate students in a variety of fields. Eleven of the 1996 U. Scholarships were offered in partnership with corporations that advertise in U. In addition, U. has awarded a $1,000 Scholarship to a student who has demonstrated commitment to and achievement in the field of journalism.

X I November 1996 • U. Magazine 21

; -

CONTESTS 4TH ANNUAL U. CAPTURE THE NIKE SPIRIT

Win $1,000 AND have your entry pub- lished with a Nike national ad!

Wherever you go, climb, hike, raft,

spclunk, skydivc, parasail, hang glide, bike,

jump, explore, or kick back, take your camera

and Capture ihe Nike Spirit — those unfor-

gettable experiences in sports and everyday life.

Maybe you and your Nikes will hike to the

most awesome place on earth, climb the

biggest mountain or rock, catch big air,

bungee jump off a bridge or rappel (or leap

over) the tallest building on campus. Or

maybe you own the World's Oldest Living

Pair of Nikes, or you can get the most pairs of

Nikes (with the most people attached to them)

in one photo. You decide and JUST DO IT!

Each month, the best entry will be pub-

lished in U. and the winners of the month will

receive S50 cash.

The Grand Prize winner will receive

$1,000, and the winning photo will be pub-

lished with Nike's ad in the January/February

issue of U. AND every month this fall, the

best entry will be published in U. and on our

Web site (http://www.umagazine.com).

Send your entries on color print or slide

film, labeled (gently) on the back with your

name, school, address, phone number (school

and permanent) and a brief description of the

Nike spirit you've captured (who, when,

where, doing what, etc.). Deadline for entries

is December 2, 1996. Entries cannot be

returned and become the property of U. Mag-

azine. There is no limit on the number of

entries you can submit.

Mail your entries to U. MAGAZINE

CAPTURE THE NIKE SFHUTCONTEST 1800 Century Park East, Suite 820

Los Angeles, CA 90067-1511

mmtt OwaV-oJfco, atmvMnsr OrMfl "Man at ma Great Wall of China. ■Laura and Krirt »t VaMowstona -

5TH ANNUAL U. PHOTO

FOUR S1,000 GRAND PRIZES

Here's your chance to win big money! U. is offering four $ l ,000 cash grand prizes for the

best photo entries submitted in four categories: Campus Life/Traditions, All Around Sports

(mud to varsity). Road Trippin' and Funniest

Sights. PLUS, for each entry published in U.

during the year, we'll pay you $50. Photos can be of anyone or anything on or off

campus, from normal (whatever that is) to outra-

geous. For best results, keep the faces in focus and

the background as light as possible. Winners of the month will be published in

U. and on our Web site at http://www.

umagazine.com. The four $1,000 Grand Prize

winning entries will be featured in l'\ May

1997 issue in our fifth annual College Year in

Review special section.

Send entries on color print or slide film,

labeled (gently) on the back with your name,

school, address, phone number (school and

permanent) and info on who, when, why,

what and where the photo was taken. Include

names of people in the photos if possible.

Entries cannot be returned and become the

property of U. Magazine. Deadline for

entries is March 14, 1997.

Mail your entries to

U. MAGAZINE PHOTO CONTEST

1800 Century Park East. Suite 820

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CLASSIFIEDS HEY, STUDENTS!

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22 U. JVlagiizine • November 199«5

Double Take

You know the oW saying, "Whan In Rom*..."? Well, thanks to the International Stu- dents' Guide To The U.S.A., lor elgn students can assimilate Into that bizarre and mysterious American student subculture with little effort. These are the brilliant nuggets of wisdom the boo* offers:

•tings "For hello, (young Ameri-

cans) prefer hi, hey, howdy, "fiat's up?, what's new?, what's cooking and what's shakln'r »>

"For a casual goodbye, variations include: so hog, let's go, take it easy and we're outta here (outta moutotj."

Making friends "This recipe Is guaranteed

to make you popular with other students: chocolate chip cookies."

Vocabulary "To space: To forget some-

thing. Sorry, man. I totally spaced."

Food "Eating in a cafeteria can

o* »n Important time to social- ise as well as eat. Of course, no student would survive without eating pizza at least several times a week."

BY DAMIAN SHAW ARIZONA STATJ U.

Il MM RAMON BY GRGG HARDIN,

U. <» KANSAS

T LURKS IN THE

shadows and behind bushes at night. Beware: the relation- ship.

One year ago, I was in the early stages of dating my girlfriend, Jamie. I was the ultimate bache- lor. Beer bottle collec- tion, a pile of old pizza boxes on the floor and a black book full of girls' names and numbers.

That was then; this is now. I now share an apartment

with her, but there is nary a beer bottle or pizza box to be found, and my black book gathers dust. Instead of recovering from a hangover on Saturday morning, I'm at the mall. On a bench. Holding a purse.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

I don't want to give the impression that having a girlfriend is all bad. After all, don't we all wind up in a relationship at one time or another? Jamie treats me well and I love her. but it's certainly a change. And that's an understatement.

The nights of sticking beer bottle caps to the ceiling have been replaced by days of neatly hanging art that we "both agree on." As long as she likes it.

Out: Monday night football. In: Melrose I'lacc. Out: Dinner at Hooters.

In: Sunday dinner with her moth- er. Out: All parties at which the police show up. In: Renting Don Juan dc Marco. Out: Picking up department store salesgirls. In: Shopping at Contcmpo. Out: Working marathon hours. In: "I'm on my way home right now, honey." Out: Being a slob. In: Cleaning up after myself.

In the process of living together and creating a union, I've also lost my own identity. I am no longer just Damian. I have morphed into someone called "Jamie-and-Dami- an." We arc one. Even my mom finishes her messages on the answering machine with, "I love you guys."

On the positive side, I am improving as an individual. It seems I've been insensitive to peo- ple all my life. Who would have known? Thank goodness my girl- friend has shown me the error of my ways. Sometimes I would go places and not invite her. I should have known she would want to go to the shooting range. What was I thinking?

Besides all of this, I am happv that I have left the single life behind. Lot! of great womanizers have fallen under the spell of just one woman. In recent history, even Warren Bcatty has become a one- woman man.

A relationship isn't a curse; it's a blessing. I get three square meals a day, I have a balanced budget and, most importantly, I have someone who loves me. What can

I say? I, er, I mean we, have never been happier.

Damian Shaw may otter to his one uiumtn 'i every whim, but he \ not whipped. No sir. l/h uh. Not Damian.

Tafif €^CiLlt~&&, Hugo Ayr.1.1. Mnssnchusetts Institute of Technology

JNANT TOHBAR ML. ABOUT YtX« CaATeT WrTM'BJTH LAST WtaAT

5

WCWCNT TO see

A t-icwie

AMctfe? THA-Ps THfc Noasr tPO&SlM.e TWrte TO DO ON A fflEST T>*Te. YOU SHOU£>

WstoNTreVT

TOO CAN'T 6ET TO KNOW A PERSON HrtlLC v4MO+lh4e AMD/IE. IT'S At_L- pe«k. *Mt>TCU CAN'T EVEN TALK .

jMtAI INJ THC WOKLT> rt*<DeTOLiTA<e HER TO A MCWlt?

—T

r IT N6.S

IPEA

November 1996 • U. Magazine 23

'

-J

Plymouth Neon Expresso $3-3,370* (Nicely equipped.) And that's a great

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under the hood—150 peak horses, to be exact! Visit your Plymouth dealer today or call

1 800 PLYMOUTH or surf by on the Internet's World Wide Web at www.plymouthcars.com.

One clover Idea after another. | rhat's Plymouth. o 'Plymouth Neon $10,395 for starters. MSRPs include destination end $500 rebate, exclude tax. 'Always wear your seat belt

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BC240 R214 WITH THIS COUPON 0290

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WITH THIS COUPON

Lean Roast Turkey Deluxe

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1 ,. t Arby OHM

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6 1/2" Hot Ham n Swiss

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Tender Chicken Fingers Meal With

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Lean Roast Chicken Deluxe

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Homestyle Sausage Biscuit

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